Pastoral Care Worker News

I have been going back over some notes from a Training I did last year called ‘The Wellbeing Classroom’ which is an empathetic approach to supporting young people.

Empathy

Empathy is the capacity to understand or feel what another is experiencing ie. Being able to put yourself in their shoes.

How often do we dismiss emotions and just focus on the behaviour of a child (or adult)?  Emotions motivate individual behaviour whether you are 9 or 90! Some people are more emotional than others so it is even more important that we have some tools to help them process their emotions. A lot of the time, our own emotions are triggered by others, but we need to be able to set them aside for a moment so that we can deal with the problem on hand.

Recent research indicates that empathy and gratitude result in a more positive state of being in a person and that person is more likely to want to help others.

Empathy is one of the subjects that is covered in the “What’s the Buzz” program that I run at the school, to try and teach our students to become more empathic. Gratitude is also one of the traits I often speak to students about when supporting them, because it turns negative thinking into a positive and helps to reframe what they are experiencing.

Children normally have a heightened sense of how they perceive right and wrong and Primary school students are learning all about rules and peer pressure. As they mature and grow older, this relationship with peers becomes very important to their development. Until they mature, however, student’s feelings can erupt in the playground when they are triggered by situations that challenge their sense of fairness. This can happen at home as well.

Here are some steps we learned at the Training Day -:

1.          Be aware of the child’s emotions and put yourself in their                   shoes.
2.          Recognise emotion as an opportunity for connection and                   understanding
3.          Help the child to label the emotion.
4.          Communicate empathy to the child and validate their                         feelings.
5.          Empathise before giving advice.
6.          Put the child’s needs first.
7.         Set limits and and problem solve a way forward.

Sometimes when we stop and listen to a child before their emotions become out of control, it can diffuse a situation and make the problem smaller. It is quite normal for a 2 or 3 year old to have tantrums by the way, it is part of their brain development and though very trying at times, if we persevere and validate their emotional state (eg.‘I see that you are feeling very upset right now’) it can help them to mature emotionally instead of feeling shame (which is a whole other subject). 

Three emotions can ‘protect’ you and it is helpful to instill these in your children to increase their resiliency -:

Brave  (you can be brave without being afraid)

Grateful  (You can be thankful in each moment)

Hopeful  (A hopeful heart makes many things possible)

These emotions are like tools in our toolbox and help us move forward through challenging situations.

Why not try a Gratitude exercise with your child as you put them to bed each night? Take it in turns to name 2 or 3 things that you are thankful for. I know from experience that this can be hard at times, but give it a go and at the very least, I believe it will draw you closer together.

Parent News

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Every blessing.

Cherie Love, Pastoral Care Worker