Chaplain's Chat

Hi  everyone, 

One part of what I do at Rolling Hills is to help kids who are feeling overwhelmed and frustrated. I’ve noticed that when kids are feeling upset or overwhelmed, they have a lot of difficulty letting go of their feelings and moving on from a problem. The ability to do this is called self-regulation. 

Self-regulation is the ability to manage our thoughts, feelings and behaviours in ways that help us function in day-to-day life. For children, building self-regulation skills lays a foundation for children’s positive social and emotional development. 

Self-regulation is one of the key social and developmental milestones and enables children to make friends, learn and achieve at school, make good decisions, manage stress and build social skills. Self-regulation skills continue to develop throughout childhood and across adolescence and young adulthood, however the most crucial time to develop self-regulation is during childhood.

So how do we develop good self-regulation in children? 

Studies have shown that some factors at home can support good self-regulation. This includes: 

• Having good sleep hygiene like regular bedtimes
   
• Positive parenting approaches such as consistent praise and being warm and responsive
   
• Opportunities at home to develop language and motor skills like playing sports or an instrument

Ways you can practice self-regulation at home and teach it to your children include:

• Practice with games at home – games like Jenga or Simon Says are great for teaching patience and self-control. 
   
• Journaling – a great way for kids to write down questions and thoughts and share at an appropriate time. This can stop children from constantly blurting out questions and help parents answer when they have time to listen 
   
• Give movement breaks – kids who struggle with self-regulation often need extra physical activity built into their day. Spending time to deliberately move can help kids keep calm and in control
   
• Have a calm down corner – create a space for kids to go to when they need a few minutes to themselves to calm down

Remember! Its good to show children that it is healthy to need a break and to self-regulate. The best way to do this, is to role model and show your children how you regulate yourself when you are upset.