From the Management Team

Forgiveness

The Endeavour Way value which is a special focus during Term 3 is Forgiveness. To me, forgiveness is about emotional freedom. It is also incredibly difficult to do because to forgive, we must accept that the people who hurt us are being human, even though it may be easier to see them as adversaries. Why should we forgive someone who has hurt us?  

History provides us with many examples of people whose ability to forgive has offered powerful moral leadership. After he was released from 27 years of imprisonment and torture for leading the fight against Apartheid in South Africa, Nelson Mandela chose to forgive his oppressors. He said, ‘resentment is like drinking poison and hoping it will kill your enemies,’ and he knew that forgiveness would give him a freedom of the heart and lead to reconciliation for himself and his people.  

Mandela did not need those who had hurt him to be sorry, and whether he respected them was immaterial. In a move that must have shocked many, he invited one of his prison guards to dinner on the 20th anniversary of his release. Mandela did not ignore this man’s actions or excuse him of the part he played in the harm inflicted, but he released his own anger and saw the guard as a human being. Their relationship developed after that meeting and Mandela reflected that it, ‘reinforced my belief in the essential humanity of even those who had kept me behind bars.’ Looking back, I can’t help but wonder how Mandela and South Africa’s story would have developed without this forgiveness. Could the same outcomes have been achieved in South Africa with anger and hatred as the driving forces?  

Mandela believed that, ‘when a deep injury is done to us, we never heal until we forgive,’ and this is an idea that we can all connect to, despite our different life experiences. Forgiveness is not the same as excusing hurtful behavior. To forgive is to be compassionate: to see another’s humanity. 

‘Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us’  Matthew 6: 12 

Louisa Mulligan

Director of Middle Years