Student Wellbeing

Hi Everyone, 

In this newsletter I have included information about hurt feelings and self-compassion. 

An important but challenging lesson for children is -

You can’t be invited to everything.

This is a very hard lesson to learn which can still be challenging when you are an adult. It is completely normal for children to feel disappointed if they don’t get invited to a party or playdate. What we need to remember is that birthday parties and play dates are usually limited to a certain number of people. It could be based on a variety of reasons - how many seats an adult has in their car, the financial cost or space at a venue or home. For the child having a party, it can also be a hard decision to choose who to invite to their party based on the number they are allowed.

When your child is faced with this concern, listen to their feelings and comfort them. It can be really challenging as a parent to see your child upset and dealing with these uncomfortable feelings, but let them know that their feelings of disappointment are completely normal. Try to help them to stick to the facts and not to exaggerate or catastrophise the situation by saying things like, “No one likes me.” 

You could think of some positive coping strategies like having a movie night, a bubble bath, listening to music, doing some craft, going to the park, baking or building with Lego. After your child is calm, remind them that in life it isn’t possible to be invited to everything. 

*Remember that you can visit the URSTRONG website and join as a parent https://urstrong.com. There are lots of helpful tips on improving friendships skills and resilience, as well as dealing with difficult situations.

Self compassion 

Treat yourself like a best friend. Speak to yourself in the same kind and caring way you would speak to a friend.

In Friendology, students are taught how important it is to be their own best friend. They are taught that their ‘Inner-Ninja’ is the Friendship Ninja that lives inside of them.

‘Your Inner-Ninja is self-compassion, self-love, self-care, self-respect and self-worth. Your Inner-Ninja treats you like a best friend!’ (URSTRONG Friendology)

‘You will never speak to anyone more than you speak to yourself in your head, be kind to yourself!’

Adults can model positive self-talk to their children by sharing their thinking aloud. For example: “I’m really disappointed that I didn’t beat my personal best running time but in my head I am trying to remind myself that I tried my best and I will keep training.”

If you would like more information on self compassion, Dr Kristin Neff has an informative website at: https://self-compassion.org. 

Take care, be kind to yourself and find things to enjoy and feel grateful for.

Jocelyn Hollyman 😃

Student Wellbeing Program Coordinator