Welcome back to Term 2. I hope you all enjoyed a wonderful break from school and managed to enjoy some family time together. I thought it would be worthwhile today to review some ways you can support your children by building their ability to manage and resolve conflicts they will inevitably face at school, and in their life outside of school.

Navigating Playground Conflict – How Families Can Help

When it comes to social-emotional development, the playground can be just as educational as the classroom. Recess and lunch breaks help children learn how to make friends, take turns, resolve conflicts, and much more. However, parents sometimes have concerns about how much conflict on the playground is OK – when does it cross the line and require adult intervention? Here are a few things parents should keep in mind to best support their child in navigating playtime.

Playground conflict is inevitable & healthy.

Arguments and conflict are a natural part of coexistence on the playground – in fact, research shows that on average students will experience one conflict at recess every 3 minutes! Students argue over everyday things – who gets to use a toy, whose turn it is to go down the slide, who gets to be included in a game, or what the correct rules are. These sorts of everyday challenges are actually good for students’ development as they teach conflict resolution and problem-solving skills. After all, you can’t learn to resolve a conflict if you never have one in the first place.

Conflict resolution is a skill that can be taught.

At Skye Primary School, we teach a variety of conflict resolution strategies, including Zones of Regulation and mindfulness techniques to help students calm themselves down. We also encourage students to listen to the other’s viewpoint to think about the issue from another perspective. By learning these skills, students develop the agency to solve their own conflicts, and are able to find their own voice and stand up for themselves.

The role of parents and teachers is to guide kids through conflicts, not solve problems for them.

Keep in mind that children have less ability to control their emotions than adults. Younger students (ages 3-5) especially struggle with emotional regulation, which can lead them to react in a physical way (pushing, hitting, etc.), and this is completely normal. Teachers and parents can help guide them to better control their emotions through calming and conflict resolution techniques, and most students are able to have relatively good emotional control by Prep.

Navigating the playground helps kids develop resilience and empathy.

By resolving conflicts, children realise that they can face a challenge themselves, and that they can recover from a disagreement and still remain friends. Learning to be a good friend means learning the golden rule – that you should treat others with the same kindness and understanding that you would like to be given in return, and that you should think of an issue from the other person’s perspective, instead of only your own.

Students should try to work out issues* themselves before asking an adult.

We encourage students to first address any disagreement they have amongst themselves. If after a while they still can’t resolve the disagreement, we encourage them to seek help from an adult to help walk them through the conflict resolution strategies. We strongly discourage students from “telling on” each other to adults, while also encouraging them to always seek help if needed.

* unsafe/violent/bullying/harrassment behaviour is escalated to adults immediately for support.

Parents should listen and support but not judge.

When your child comes to you with a conflict they are having on the playground, often our natural reaction is to automatically take your child’s side and criticise the child they are having an issue with. However, it is better to listen but not judge to help your child see both sides of a conflict, and to avoid criticising their peers. After all, the child they are fighting with today might be their new best friend a week from now!

Bullying is never OK.

Conflict on the playground is inevitable, but if your child is consistently and repeatedly targeted by peers or a single child in particular, this can amount to bullying. Ask your child to talk about it more, and speak to your child’s teacher if you are concerned or don’t have a good grasp of the situation.

Lisa Male

Student Inclusion, Wellbeing and Engagement

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