Middle Years 

Over the holidays, I finished reading a book called Parenting Champions by Lanny Bassham. It’s a particularly good read. One idea that I liked is that there are various stages that children go through as they become autonomous and competent young adults. There are times when the stages overlap.

The Dependent Stage of Learning occurs when children are very young, and parents make all the decisions, and parents ultimately influence what happens in the children’s lives. This is an important stage, and sets children up for future success.

Middle Years students are at the next two stages of learning, and this refers to the Inter-dependent and Co-dependent Stages of Learning.

The Inter-dependent Stage is when parents encourage teenagers to make decisions for themselves while setting boundaries to protect them from harm. During this stage, you work together with your child. The teenager will make many decisions with you being the observer rather than the decider. Often parents, who are working through this stage say to their children “what do you think you should do?”

The final stage is the Co-dependent Stage of Learning, which refers to the stage where teenagers are being influenced by peers.  Their self-image is shaped by the statements and actions of those around them. Parental influence tends to reduce as they become increasingly influenced by others. During this stage, it is important for parents to pay attention to the statements, attitudes, and habits of your child and the friends your children choose.  

Lanny Bassham also talked about attainment, and this refers to accomplishment and becoming. This is when we are seeking to achieve something and to grow in the process. Basketball coach, John Wooden once said, “Why do we dread adversity when we know that facing it is the only way to become stronger, smarter, and better?” The difference between accomplishing and attaining is the personal growth during journey to reach the goal.  It’s the becoming of something better or greater.

As an educator, I recognise that we need to be mindful of the developmental stage of the children in our care, and I also like the idea of attainment rather than just accomplishment as the children flourish and grow. Our children are seeking to discover who they are, understanding their strengths, acknowledging their weaknesses, developing resiliency skills and committing fully to their learning journey.

Congratulations to Phoebe Russell and Isaac Hocking who returned this week after playing in the State Hockey Championships.

Julia Winter Cooke