Student Support

Ms Gee

Holidays

Your children are about to commence just over 2 weeks of holidays. The weather is brightening up, relaxed routines, more time together. What can possibly lessen this idyllic scenario?

When we share the same space for any length of time, it’s inevitable there will be disagreements - between you and your child or between siblings.

So let’s consider a typical scenario that might occur during this time. Who has the remote control! One child wants to watch something and another wants to watch something else or play a game. There's lots of shouting and arguing about whose turn it is and why. It’s going nowhere. In fact it’s escalating and has become physical!

What to do?

Here is a very brief outline of what you might try. Of course, things don’t always go as you hope but this approach models respect for each other’s perspective and tries to teach your child ownership and problem-solving skills in a conflict situation.

First and foremost, stay calm! Take some slow deep breaths (if possible) before intervening. If they can see your emotions are heightened, they will match it or up the ante. Not helpful.
Take action without insult or judgement. Physically separate the combatants. “Stop! I can’t let you hurt each other!”
Acknowledge feelings without taking sides. “You didn’t like it when she put on what she wanted.” “And you got angry when he grabbed the remote control from your hand.”
Describe the problem without minimising it. “This is a tough problem. One person wants this program and the other person wants something different.”
Problem solve. Ask for ideas. “What can we do that will work for both of you? Choose the ideas that everyone likes. “Let’s circle these and put them up on the fridge.”

Quick fix (if time or patience are in short supply):

Briefly sum up each child’s point of view and take action.

“You want to watch this program and you want to watch something else. For now I’m going to decide, even though it might not make everybody happy.”

Happy holidays!