Chaplain's Corner

Hi Everyone,                

RENEWING FRIENDSHIPS

One concern I know that some students are experiencing following lockdown is concern around friendships – 

“I don’t have any friends!”  “I am worried that my ‘friends’ won’t like me anymore.”

A couple of factors contribute to this struggle.  Firstly, many pre-teens and teens spend an enormous amount of time on social media, and one of the side effects is that they often neglect real-world relationships - ESPECIALLY DURING LOCKDOWNS. One study found that teens who frequently use social media — and have a lot of online “friends” — report feeling lonelier than peers who have less of an online life.   Another reason young people may struggle in friendships is their “near-sightedness.” Most are very aware of how others treat them, but not so aware of how they are treating or judging others. These sorts of blind spots can have a major impact on their ability to develop lasting friendships. 

Many want relationships with the cool kids, often minimizing the positive friendships they already have.  The friendships our pre-teens & teens already have may be valuable, so perhaps they need to learn how to deepen those friendships rather than longing for “better” friends.

Every person has three core needs:

1. A Sense of Belonging 

2. A Sense of Worth 

3. A Sense of Competence – You can ask, “Do your friends build you up or encourage you, or do they constantly put you down?” 

 SOMETIMES ONE CAN BE BECOME SO FIXATED ON FINDING A FRIEND WHO IS JUST LIKE THEM, THAT THEY MISS OUT ON THE ENRICHMENT OF EMBRACING DIFFERENCES, ON TRYING NEW THINGS, ON LEARNING ‘I AM OK’ AND ‘YOU ARE OK’.

GIVING AND RECEIVING

 Friendships Give the Opportunity to Help Build Contributor Skills Rather Than Consumer Skills

Teaching kids how to be contributors in their friendships—helping each other in times of need, encouraging each other—can help them form solid foundations for friendships and relationships later in life.

Help your children become contributor friends rather than consumer friends.by teaching them to become aware of how their friends influence them and how they influence friends around them. They have the power to be an amazingly positive influence on others, or they can negatively influence them. With younger kids, provide examples and opportunities to be contributors rather than consumers in the home and during playtime with other kids.

Other very helpful advice can be found at the following websites:

https://au.reachout.com/articles/what-makes-a-good-friend

https://kidshelpline.com.au/schools/sessions/friendship

https://kidshelpline.com.au/teens/issues/making-friends

And let’s not forget to continue to reach out and take care of each other!  An attitude of gratitude for each other and making someone else’s life just that little bit better, actually makes our own life better too!!

It has been great being able welcoming ALL our students back this week! 

Take Care!

         Robyn Mulholland (School Chaplain)  robyn.mulholland@education.vic.gov.au)