Deputy Principal

Respect

With the Lenten dances fast approaching, the topic of respect comes to mind. It is timely that we remind the boys of how to interact with the girls in an appropriate matter. In 2021 this matter was forefront in the media when a former Kambala student Chanel Contos bought to light her experience of being sexually assaulted while she was a teenager. The conversation that was generated was alarming as large numbers of young women came forward to share their own experience.

There has been a lot of debate recently around single-sex schools and whether testosterone-filled all boys’ schools are a good thing. That debate will always be around, however, it does challenge us to do more, to challenge our own children. To me this is not just about educating our sons, it is about educating our children on respect for themselves and respect for each other.

Over the coming weeks we will be talking to all of the young men in Years 7-10 about respectful relationships. How to talk to each other. How to respect the human dignity of every person. Our conversations are reinforcement of what happens in our homes. Having three children of my own, my children are growing up in a household where my wife and I share domestic duties. Like myself, she works full-time as well. So, it is important for us to role model and breakdown the stereotypes of women doing all of the domestic duties. Times have changed for the better where we can teach our children that their options are limitless regardless of their gender. We need to teach our young men to respect everyone regardless of their gender. To call out poor behaviour when they see it. 

Our young men are impressionable and sometimes the pack mentality overcomes them and emotions run high. However, that is no excuse for poor behaviour. We need to reinforce that relationships are not about how many girls’ numbers they can get, it is about connection. It is imperative for me to teach my son appropriate ways to act, give him confidence to put himself out there and not be pressured into doing things because his mates are egging him on or he feels he has to live up to some sort of stereotypical male persona. These personas such as that of Andrew Tate as I have written about before can be damaging unless we educate our sons.

I know a lot of you will also have daughters coming to the dances. As a father of two daughters, my wife and I are constantly having conversations with them about self-worth. We encourage them to find their voice. No man should ever speak for them. They are young intelligent women who should never be defined by who they go out with or marry. They will be successful in their own right. 

Mutual respect is so important in a society. We need to be role models in our own homes. I want my children to look up to my wife and I, rather than a footballer or politician. We live in an age where our children are navigating difficult waters. How best can we serve them? We can do that by respecting our own relationships, by modelling respectful relationships. Then, hopefully through open conversations, we will have young men who leave these gates for the final time that are well rounded men who treat everyone with respect.

Adrian Byrne

Deputy Principal