Year 7 Pastoral Guardian

Friendships are like … a lava lamp. 

Recently, the topic of friendships has emerged during discussions with some Year 7 students.  This is not unusual.  These discussions have highlighted a few issues.  Firstly, some students who come to high school with primary school friends feel challenged when new options appear, or if friendships change.  Secondly, for those who come by themselves, creating strong bonds, like those felt during primary school, can also be challenging.  Additionally, some students feel intense disloyalty when they develop new friendships, and struggle to navigate their way through this situation.  Finally, some are concerned because they believe the myth of the ‘perfect friend’ being found on Day 1, Term 1. 

If your daughter is experiencing any of the above situations, it is important to present a more realistic view of friendship to promote emotional and social well-being. 

Enter: friendships are like a lava lamp! 

The more realistic view of friendships at school – and indeed life – is one of flexibility, change, and resilience.  Madonna King, in her video article 2021 Raising Girls Edition, discusses the idea that friendships are like a lava lamp.  The blobs of lava represent the many friendship groups within a school, and that they can change, re-shape, merge, and separate.  Understanding that it is okay for her, or another person, to leave a friendship group because values no longer align, or because circumstances change (coming to high school without primary school friends, finding new friends in classes and extra-curricular activities) is important.  The degree of openness and acceptance of this idea then paves the way for welcoming new people to friendships and avoiding feeling beholden to cliques, unhealthy friendships or feeling a sense of betrayal for following her own needs. Consequently, having multiple friendship groups, and being open to the idea that they can be dynamic, promotes a stronger sense of self and how her friendships grow and develop.

On another note about friendships, as a whole cohort, we welcome Midnight, Mocha, Tuity, and Rosie as special friends of Year 7.  These names were bestowed on the chickens after a voting process in Term 1.  I am sure many Year 7s are looking forward to getting to know the chicken more over the year.   

Until next time

Jeni Barlow