Deputy Principal, Senior Years and Wellbeing

If you have ever experienced an emotional response simply by watching someone you love in action, here are six words for you.

Very rarely does one sentence have immediate impact.

Very rarely does one sentence change the way you interact with your family.

It is not from some renowned child psychologist but a comment from kids themselves. Children are the true experts when it comes from ‘grasping what really matters’.

Here are the words that changed it all:

“…… College athletes were asked what their parents said that made them feel great, that amplified joy during and after a ballgame. Their overwhelming response: “I love to watch you play.”

I am sure you can think of many occasions when you encouraged, guided, complimented and provided suggestions for improvement. Although not meaning to criticize but going into extensive detail about your child’s performance could be misinterpreted as not being ‘good enough”.

Can you really just say “I love to watch you play” and leave it at that? And if you did would your children stand there cluelessly at the next sporting or musical performance because you failed to provide all the “extra details” the time before? Perhaps time will tell.

A parent watching her oldest daughter swim in a competitive meet made this comment:

“I cry not because she’s going to come first

I cry not because she’s a future Olympian or scholarship recipient

I cry because she’s healthy, she’s strong, she’s capable

I cry because I love to watch her swim”

When simply watching someone makes your heart feel as if it could explode right out of your chest, you really should let that person know. It is as simple and lovely as that.

The next time you feel the need to guide, instruct, or criticize after a sporting game, performance or extra-curricular activity, instead consider six simple words; “I love to watch you play”

Adapted from the newly released book Hands Free Mama – Letting go to grasp what really matters. Rachel Macy Stafford.

Miss Kristen Waldron