BHCS Helpful Information

Middle (& other!) School Parent Tips

While inconsiderate behavior may be common, there are no excuses for rudeness.  Good manners can—and should—be taught to middle schoolers.  When they realize it actually makes them appear more grown up, they’re usually more willing to learn and use them.  

They should be expected to: 

• shake hands when meeting someone new for the first time
• look people in the eye when speaking to them
• hold doors open for those coming behind them
• give up their seats to adults, especially the elderly
• wait patiently in line order their own food in a restaurant
• say please and thank you every time it is appropriate
• cover their mouths when sneezing or coughing
• refrain from burping and making other bodily noises in public
• keep their voices low in public places
• remove their hats in a restaurant
• ask, “May I please . . .” instead of demanding, “I need to . . .”
• say “Excuse me” when interrupting, or when they bump into someone
• offer to help their parents carry groceries and other objects

Parents need to remember, however, that manners should be modeled by them so their children can see that it’s a grown-up thing to do.  When your middle schooler spontaneously demonstrates good manners (e.g., by holding the door open for you), be sure to make a comment to indicate you’ve noticed. But keep it low-key, or else they’ll be reluctant to do it again.

Tobias, Cynthia Ulrich. Middle School: The Inside Story: What Kids Tell Us, But Don't Tell You (pp. 95-98). Focus on the Family.