Chaplain's Corner

Hi Everyone!     

In a few weeks, many students in our school community will be facing CHANGE, as they look ahead to 2023.  They will be changing grades with new teachers in most cases; some will be leaving us to begin secondary school; and others will be changing primary schools and/or moving house.

 

CHANGE brings many emotions – excitement, joy nervousness, uncertainty, fear, anxiousness, etc. 

Preparing our children well ahead will help to ease their concerns.  How we respond and cope with CHANGE ourselves will have a huge impact on how our children will cope.

 

Children need to be prepared for changes ahead to make them feel secure. Children thrive on routine and on knowing what is happening next.

 

THINKING AHEAD - Helping Your Child Cope with School Transitions

To assist them with transitions the following ideas may be helpful: 

 

>If the family is moving, take pictures of friends and familiar places and offer ways to keep in contact with close friends via phone, email, and letters. Help your child talk about what he or she will miss and about what will be new and different.

 

 >Encourage your child to discuss the future transition by asking questions such as, "What have you been thinking about your new school?" Make a list of your child's concerns and together try to find answers to the questions. Many schools have websites that describe procedures, show virtual tours, and answer common questions. 

 

> Help your child get to know the new environment beforehand. When possible, visit the school together. Even viewing it from a car or seeing a photograph of the building is better than leaving the first day to the child's imagination.

 

 >Let your child know it is natural to feel apprehensive. He or she may be fearful of not being accepted by peers or about mastering the logistics or academics of a new grade or school. Share childhood memories of times when you were worried about a new situation. Relate the good things that happened like how you met your best friend or that your new teacher was one of your favourites.

 

>Keep the days leading up to the transition as positive as you can - Stress that his or her class will offer many new experiences. The night before the first day, have your child put out everything needed for school. The next morning allow time to get ready in a calm manner.

 

 >Buy school supplies and required materials. Go over the walk to school or to the bus stop. Empower your child by discussing actions he or she can take if a problem arises. Ask, "What concerns you most about school?" Listen and then ask, "If that happens, what will you do?" Help your child think of constructive ways to deal with a difficult situation.

 

 >Expect the transition to be ultimately successful. Yet, remember that adjustments take time and the first days in a new school are often overwhelming. Your attitude can help your child; let him or her know you are confident in his ability to adjust well.

 

>Be available after school starts. Understand that your child may need extra time, attention and support. When there is a change, he or she may regress to an earlier developmental stage.  Try to plan time for family fun because, when transitions occur, families are a necessary source of love and support.

 

 >Invite your child to express his or her emotions. Even when a concern seems minor to you, be respectful and know that it can be a major crisis to your child. Try to put yourself in his or her place and understand the feelings expressed. Ask open ended questions like, "How's it going?" or make comments like, "You seem sad." Then listen carefully and avoid giving advice unless your child asks for it.

 

>Help your child explore ways to cope with concerns, and continue to be available for further discussion. Be ready to problem-solve with him or her. You may want to role play a situation that is causing anxiety.

 

>Encourage your child to try new things by participating in one or two extracurricular activities. Help him or her understand that trying is what is important, and that one does not always have to be successful.

 

>Continue to foster your child's organisational skills and assist him or her in becoming responsible and independent. Stay interested and provide rules and structure. Yet, allow your child to have input into what the rules are.

 

 If after an adjustment period of time, your child is reluctant to go to school or seems truly unhappy, seek help. Identify your concerns and meet with your child's teacher and/or school counsellor. Together, perhaps with the child being present, work out a plan of action.

 

During times of change, a little extra attention will go a long way in helping children deal with stress. Plan an hour or a half hour each week where your child has your undivided attention. It is important to use playtime to help a child’s development. Let your child pick the activity or follow your child’s lead.

 

HELP YOUR CHILD TO FLY!

 

       Robyn Mulholland, (School Chaplain)

                                                                                                   robyn.mulholland@education.vic.gov.au