The Wellbeing Centre

Welcomes Sophie Gonzales to the Counselling Team. Sophie brings energy and knowledge to our service. As she settles into the St Bede’s College community she will meet with many students, staff and families. This increases our number of Counsellors to three and strengthens the support already provided by the College. Referrals can be made through a Coordinator, parents and students themselves.

Tackling the start of a new year.

This excerpt from an article by the Centre for Adolescent Health is a useful guide for parents whose sons are starting their life as a secondary student. We have found that communication and measured responses to anxiety about their new school helps to guarantee a successful transition.

Going to secondary school: what to expect

Children often have mixed feelings about starting secondary school. They might be:

excited about new friends, subjects and teachers
nervous about learning new routines, making new friends or wearing a new uniform
worried about handling the workload or not fitting in.

You might also worry about these issues, and about whether your child will have the confidence and skills to handle them.

These worries are all normal. Secondary school also means a move from the familiar to the unknown, and a whole new way of doing things.

Relationships

Your child will need to meet new peers and make new friends, and establish or re-establish her position within a peer group.

Schoolwork

Your child will need to adapt to new teaching and assessment styles, cope with a wide range of subjects, adjust to having different teachers in different classrooms, become more responsible for his own learning, manage a heavier and more complicated study and homework load, and learn a new and more complex timetable.

Getting around

Your child will have to adjust to a new school campus, find his way around, get to class on time with the right books and materials, and possibly cope with new transport arrangements.

When children are making the move to secondary school, you have the biggest influence on how smooth the transition is. Your child’s friends do influence how your child feels about the move, but your support has stronger and longer-lasting effects.

During the transition to secondary school

Practical issues

Here are some ideas to help with the practical side of the transition to high school:

Try to arrange for a parent, grandparent or other close adult to be home before and after school for the first few weeks after your child starts secondary school.
Find out the name of the teacher responsible for your child’s overall care, attendance and social and academic progress. This person might be called a home-room teacher, year advisor or pastoral care teacher. Try to introduce yourself as early as possible.
Try to make your home as comfortable for study time as possible. For example, make sure your child has a quiet place to study, away from distractions like the TV or a mobile phone.

Friends

These ideas might help with worries about getting to know people and making new friends at high school:

Reassure your child that it’s normal to worry about making new friends.
Find out whether there’s a buddy system at your child’s new school and encourage your child to be involved in it.
Let your child know that new friends are welcome in your home. Encourage your child to invite new friends over, or be ready to transport your child to their houses.
Help your child explore new opportunities. Learning a musical instrument, trying a new sport or joining a drama class are great ways for your child to meet new people and get involved in school activities.

Feelings

You could try these suggestions for handling emotional ups and downs:

Be prepared for ups and downs. Adjusting to change takes time, but if things don’t stabilise after the first term, talk to your child’s home-room teacher in the first instance.
Remind your child that it’s normal to feel nervous about starting something new – for example, you could share how nervous and excited you feel when starting a new job.
Talk to other parents to check whether your child’s experiences and feelings are similar to those of others. Sporting and school events are good opportunities to meet other parents.
Try to make sure your child eats well, gets plenty of physical activity and gets plenty of sleep. The change to secondary school is likely to make your child more tired at first.
Stay calm. If you’re calm and reassuring you’ll give your child more confidence that she can get through the tough parts of starting high school.

Keep talking with your child about school. If you’re having trouble getting your child to open up, try our tips on talking about school.

Signs your child might be having difficulty at secondary school

If your child is struggling with the transition to secondary school, you might notice that he:

doesn’t want to go to school, or refuses to go
says he feels sick on Sunday nights
doesn’t seem interested in schoolwork or new activities at the new school
doesn’t talk with you about school or friends
seems low on confidence or self-esteem – your child might say he’s dumb or nobody likes him
is getting lower marks than he used to.

If your child is having trouble, don’t wait for things to improve on their own. Try to get your child talking about how he’s feeling, let him know that feeling worried is normal, and see whether you can work out some strategies together.

If things don’t improve within 2-3 weeks, consider speaking with your child’s teacher, year level co-ordinator, welfare co-ordinator or GP.

Children with additional needs starting secondary school

The transition to secondary school is sometimes more challenging for children with additional needs. It’s important to ensure that your child – and your family – are adequately prepared for the change and can get the information you need.

You might need extra time to plan your child’s transition to secondary school, even starting up to a year ahead. Student welfare services at your child’s primary and secondary schools will play an important role in ensuring your child’s needs are supported.

If you’d like extra support or have concerns, you can talk with your child’s teacher, school principal or learning support team. Also contact disability services in your state or territory.

Your feelings about your child starting secondary school

Your child’s transition to secondary school is a big change for you too. Your relationship with your child’s primary school might be ending, and you’re likely to have a different sort of relationship with your child’s secondary school.

It’s normal to have mixed feelings about these changes.

Talking to other parents, particularly those who have gone through high school transition, often helps. It might ease your mind to know that most children find things a little hard at first but settle in during the year.

Also, other parents who are experienced at the school can often answer small questions and give you helpful tips about how things work at your child’s new school.

And don’t be surprised to find that your child doesn’t want you to be as visible at his secondary school as you might have been during the primary years. Remember that he’ll still need your support outside of school, and that it’s all part of the way he develops greater independence.

Last updated or reviewed12-12-2017
AcknowledgementsThis article was developed in collaboration with the Centre for Adolescent Health, The Royal Children’s Hospital, Melbourne.

All the best

Jenny White

Wellbeing Coordinator

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