Weekly Wellbeing 

Kids do better when they know better

Much of the time I notice that the reason a child ‘misbehaves’ is because they don’t know what the expected or more positive or appropriate replacement behaviour is. This is not always the case of course because kids are extremely clever at getting their needs met in the most time and energy-efficient way as possible. This means that if a behaviour has gotten them what they want or need they will continue to do it.

Some things to think about when faced with challenging behaviour at home;

• Are they missing a skill?  Can I teach them something for next time? 
• If the behaviour is continuing it is being reinforced in some way, whether positively or negatively.
• Are they getting my attention when they do this?  Can I give more attention to what I want to see them doing rather than always to what I don’t want them to do.
• Are there consequences and are they working?

Here is an excerpt from an article on Parenting ‘Disruptive’ Behaviours by www.youcandoitparents.com.au

Key Points;

• Define the specific behaviours in your child that you want to either encourage or discourage.  Target the areas where you think your child is underdeveloped and put time into helping them to recognise and change their behaviour. 
• Ensure expectations are clear. Kids need to know when they’ve let your down or not done as agreed. 
• Establish effective, appropriate consequences for behaviour. Praise kids for specific examples of good behaviour, rather than general, constant praise.  
• Encourage independence rather than dependence. Give kids practice at making decisions and choices. 
• Talk, read and role model emotions, social responsibility and appropriate behaviour, and how learning skills in negotiation and compromise can build confidence. 
• Recognise when good behaviour earns a reward. Rewards are motivators (as opposed to bribes) and help to give kids feelings of confidence and control. Appropriate rewards can be one-on-one time with a parent (film, outing) or some extra screen time on their own.  
• Using time out works best if it immediately follows disruptive behaviour.  As soon as your child is calm again, time out can be over. 

Mia Sartori, on behalf of the Wellbeing Team