From the Counselling Team
- Understanding Responses to Grief and Loss
- Boxercise for Fitness
- Buddies Beach Walk
- KYDS Free Webinars for Mental Health Month
- The College Counselling Team
Understanding Responses to Grief and Loss
The biggest need for children and adolescents who experience grief and loss is that they are supported and cared for and have someone to talk to about it. Sharing emotions can help people feel connected to others. It can also be helpful to have an understanding of expected reactions to loss according to your child’s developmental stage;
Later primary school responses to grief
Children within this developmental stage now understand that death is permanent. They can also understand why death happens, eg illness, accident or old age. They can talk about their feelings better although they might not always do so. They are less likely to blame themselves for what has happened but they might look to blame others. They have a strong sense of right and wrong and might have strong views about what has happened. They may be interested in life after death and want to know what happens then and ask quite spiritual questions. They may still want to know all the facts about what happens to the body or details of an accident. As they get older, children are more able to understand what other people are going through as well.
Adolescent responses to grief
Young people grieve in much the same way as adults but because at this stage of their development they often have emotional 'ups and downs' they can become deeply distressed. Adolescents can be greatly affected by grief following the death of someone close to them. They can become withdrawn, depressed and moody. They will probably want to get support and spend time with their friends more than their family. However, they still need to know that you are there for them to talk to if they need.
Young people often show sadness through acting out and angry behaviour which covers up their underlying feeling. A minority may turn to risk taking behaviour, and these young people need lots of support. Others just need to do active and noisy things such as go for a run, dance to loud music or play sport with friends to deal with their strong feelings. Still others seek comfort in music, writing poetry, walking alone or being in a quiet place to deal with their grief.
What parents can do
- Provide a safe environment where your child/adolescent feels able to express feelings in whatever way they can.
- Help them to find ways to show their feelings through writing a letter, a story, a poem, painting or drawing.
- Children may not seem sad when you think they should be, because they still don't really understand what it all means. This isn't a lack of being sensitive, it is just the stage they are at.
- Allow children and young people time to talk, ask questions and share worries with a caring adult. They might be very confused and need to ask lots of questions. If you can't talk about it, find another adult who is close to your child who can. If children can't talk to you about the loss, they might feel that it is not safe to talk about it and so continue to have muddled and scary feelings.
- If your adolescent is acting angrily or withdrawing try to make times available for them to talk, without pushing for answers. If it continues, talk to a health professional about it.
- Try to open the way if a child feels unable to talk about their feelings. Say something like "Some things are really hard to talk about, but talking can help. If you ever want to talk about what has happened, let me know".
- Be honest. Parents sometimes hide things from children because they want to protect them. If you don't tell them what has happened, you may prevent them from dealing with the loss and grieving. This can cause problems when they have other losses in their lives.
- Stick to as many of the family routines as you can. Too many changes will add further stress. Doing the same things as usual helps children/ young people to feel safe.
- Remember that children and adolescents grieve in bursts. They have their own individual reactions, and they feel loss just as much as adults but may show it differently.
- Allow times for extra closeness and comfort.
- If your family has a spiritual belief this can be a support to children, adolescents and parents.
If your child seems to not be managing, do reach out and seek help from the College Counselling Team.
Mrs Joe McCarthy - College Counsellor/Psychologist
Boxercise for Fitness
Boxercise is back on Thursday and Friday mornings this term, starting at 7.30 am.
A special invitation is extended to any student who would like to take the opportunity improve their fitness and general well-being. I look forward to seeing as many students as possible to join us on Thursday and/or Friday morning at 7.30 am this week.
REMEMBER: HEALTHY BODY = HEALTHY MIND
Mr Rick Russo - School Counsellor
Buddies Beach Walk
Save the Date: Buddies Beach Walk
When: Sunday 6 November
Where: From Spit Bridge to Forty Baskets Beach
From: We will meet at 8.00 am at St Pius.
BYO: swimmers, towel, sun protection, drink bottle and food.
A letter will go home to students tomorrow.
Mr Rick Russo - School Counsellor
Mental Health Month Webinars
KYDS Youth Development Service are running some free webinars for mental health month:
- “Making friends with stress” (18 & 20 October) https://lu.ma/46rtsnsj
- “From worriers to warriors: How to support your socially anxious child” (25 October) https://lu.ma/kkv7ib5u
- “ADHD: From surviving to thriving” (26 & 27 October) https://lu.ma/v49fmwbx
- “Parenting a screenager: How to help support your child’s use of technology” (27 October) https://lu.ma/50w1vy6g
Please use the link below for more information :
The College Counselling Team
The College Counselling Team are available to provide confidential emotional and social support and guidance for your son and family.
Mr Rick Russo - Counsellor
6 days per fortnight: every Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday
working with students across all year groups.
Email: rrusso@stpiusx.nsw.edu.au
Direct Phone: 9414 4359
Mrs Joe McCarthy - Psychologist
7 days per fortnight:
Week 1: Monday, Tuesday, Thursday
Week 2: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday
working with students across all year groups.
Email: jmccarthy@stpiusx.nsw.edu.au
Direct Phone: 9414 4322
Mrs Judy Gill - Psychologist
7 days per fortnight:
Week 1: Monday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday
Week 2: Monday, Wednesday and Friday
working with students across all year groups.
Email: jgill@stpiusx.nsw.edu.au
Direct Phone: 9414 4315
The Counselling Team, together with the Diverse Learning Team, look forward to providing CONFIDENTIAL support to assist your son to build his SELF CONFIDENCE / SELF ESTEEM AND RESILIENCE within a caring, supportive Catholic school community. Please do not hesitate to make contact with any of the above team should the need arise.
Mr Rick Russo - College Counsellor/Chaplaincy Services