Chaplain’s Spot
‘Steps to more effective parenting’ from https://kidshealth.org/
Raising kids is one of the toughest and most fulfilling jobs in the world — and the one for which you might feel the least prepared. Here are nine child-rearing tips that can help you feel more fulfilled as a parent.
1. Boosting Your Child's Self-Esteem - Kids start developing their sense of self as babies. Your words and actions as a parent affect their developing self-esteem more than anything else. Choose words carefully and be compassionate. Let them know that everyone makes mistakes and you still love them, even when you don't love their behavior.
2. Catch Kids Being Good - How many times do you react negatively to your kids? You may be criticizing far more than complimenting. The more effective approach is to catch kids doing something right: "I was watching you play with your sister and you were very patient." Soon you will find you are "growing" more of the behavior you would like to see.
3. Set Limits and Be Consistent With Your Discipline - Discipline is necessary in every household. The goal of discipline is to help kids choose acceptable behaviors and learn self-control. Establishing house rules helps kids understand your expectations and develop self-control. Some rules might include: no TV until homework is done, and no teasing allowed.
4. Make Time for Your Kids - It's often difficult for parents and kids to get together for a family meal, let alone spend quality time together. But there is probably nothing kids would like more. Get up earlier so you can eat breakfast with them or take a walk after dinner. Kids not getting attention often act to be sure to get noticed.
5. Be a Good Role Model - Young kids learn a lot about how to act by watching their parents. The younger they are, the more cues they take from you. Model the traits you wish to see in your kids: respect, friendliness, honesty, kindness, tolerance. Above all, treat your kids the way you expect other people to treat you.
6. Make Communication a Priority - You can't expect kids to do everything simply because you, as a parent, "say so." They want and deserve explanations as much as adults do. Parents who reason with their kids allow them to understand and learn in a nonjudgmental way.
7. Be Flexible and Willing to Adjust Your Parenting Style - If you often feel "let down" by your child's behavior, perhaps you have unrealistic expectations. Kids' environments effect their behavior, so try changing the environment. Look for ways to alter your surroundings so that fewer things are off-limits. This will cause less frustration for both of you.
8. Show That Your Love Is Unconditional - As a parent, you're responsible for correcting and guiding your kids. But how you express your corrective guidance makes all the difference in how a child receives it. Make sure they know that although you want and expect better next time, your love is there no matter what.
9. Know Your Own Needs and Limitations as a Parent - Face it — you are an imperfect parent. You have strengths and weaknesses. Recognize your abilities — "I am loving and dedicated." Vow to work on your weaknesses — "I need to be more consistent with discipline." Try to have realistic expectations for yourself, your spouse, and your kids. You don't have to have all the answers — be forgiving of yourself. Focusing on your needs does not make you selfish. It simply means you care about your own well-being, which is another important value to model for your children.
Please feel free to contact me via Compass, or at school on Wednesdays or Thursdays, if there is anything you would like to discuss I am here to support our school community with whatever is challenging us.
Quote for the week: “Forgiveness is not something you do for someone else; it is something you do for yourself.”
Alan Silverwood – Chaplain - Pastoral care for our community. [Monday, Tuesday, Friday]
[alan.silverwood@education.vic.gov.au] Supporting the School community in emotional, social, spiritual and practical wellbeing. The Chaplaincy program is funded by the Federal Government, donations and GRPS School Council.