Reflections on parenting teens during lockdown

Parenting teens is hard enough but even harder in lockdown.  Some of our staff who have the joy of having teens at home have kindly offered to share their experiences of living with, and supporting their teens at this difficult time.  We are all in this together and if we can share experiences and ideas on helping young people get through this we will all be better for it. 

Staff Member 1

As a parent is there anything more frustrating than remote learning? Trying to work at home and help your kids at the same time, is really hard! Schoolwork seems much more difficult and complex than I remember. No Compass, Teams, One note or computers in my day, lucky they didn’t have a pandemic in 1988!!! Can you imagine sitting around the letterbox waiting for the postie to bring your work for the day!!! And what if the dog really did eat your homework. That being said as a parent, what I have found remarkable is the attitude and the flexibility of the teachers, who have been able to quickly shift from face to face teaching to remote teaching without the slightest fuss! I don’t think my teachers could have done that in my day. So as difficult as it is being a parent during remote learning, at least I don’t have to be a teacher!

Staff Member 2

After 200 days of lockdown, not surprisingly our children are very familiar with the routine of remote learning, which makes some things quite easy. On the flip side, though, it means that motivation and optimism is in the toilet, and as a result, the bare minimum is usually what gets done, and even things like picking subjects for next year, which I think should be at least a little bit enjoyable/satisfying, is a chore. And there is no break. It’s the same. Every. Day. The trivia this week was awesome – just what our kids needed. And I was also pleased that teachers are actively marking the roll again – a sense of routine and needing to get out of bed is a great thing.

Staff Member 3

Remote Learning with teenagers can be hard. There is no doubt about it. Trying to do my normal role as well as support my two children with their online learning can be challenging at times. There have certainly been some times of frustration and angst in my household whilst I am trying to get to an online meeting, one child is struggling to log into their learning activities and the other is barely out of bed.

However, there are some really good times too. The opportunity to see each other during the day, have lunch, chat and just be present for each other has been one of the perks of remote learning. I don’t often get the chance to watch my children learn, to see how they cope during the day, where they struggle and where they thrive. Remote learning has allowed me to do this.

There are many negatives about working from home, and don’t get me wrong, I want to get back to school as soon as possible, however, being the optimistic person that I am, I try and find those moments of joy, the simple things, that make remote learning bearable. Having lunch together, asking each of my children questions about how they going with their learning, checking in with them on a regular basis throughout the day have all made Remote Learning a little easier in my family.

I certainly don’t have all the answers. I struggle too. There have been times where my eldest son has tried to speed through his school work so that he can ‘finish’ for the day and then chat and game online. I can be busy in meetings and doing my work which has allowed this to go unnoticed…. Until I check in. Establishing some rules around checking the quality of his work and setting times before he can go online has helped shift the focus back to learning.

Checking in on a regular basis has also been really important. My youngest has tended to become overwhelmed at times and, in those moments, we have just had to say ‘you know what, you need a break.’ Giving him some time to go outside, play some basketball and just relax has allowed him to expel some of the frustration and anxiety he has about learning online and to refocus. He will then move onto his next learning activity and give it a go. We let his teachers know and they provide support if needed.

We all cope in remote learning in different ways. I, like many parents, find this tough at times. And that is ok. I think that all of us want the best for our children and that we are constantly balancing their wellbeing with their learning. Keeping a regular routine, showing my children that I care about them and their learning, taking breaks when they need it, checking Compass to see what they are learning and how they are engaging, and reaching out to their school when needed has made our lives that little bit easier in Remote Learning.

I hope that all of our community are travelling ok at home. We are here for you if needed.

Staff Member 4

Staying in a routine has been the way we have survived remote learning in my house. My 14 year old son, Jackson, is expected to be up and in uniform (sports uniform) every day by 8.30am for online classes. In addition, there are 4 things he needs to do each day - 30 minutes each of readings, maths homework, guitar practice and outside time with our adorable dog, Bopul. The Playstation is strictly reserved for Friday-Sunday.

That doesn't mean that there is no conflict in our house. Jackson finds maths quite difficult and as such he has additional maths tasks to complete each week. Last week his teacher emailed me to let me know that Jackson had not completed the extra maths space tasks. As a consequence, he was expected to complete all the outstanding tasks before connecting to the Playstation for the weekend - I was not a popular person!

Our evening routine, both in and out of lockdown is all screens down and a 7pm TV show. Over the years we have enjoyed some great series such as the X-Files, The Office and Stanger Things.

My husband and I also model our expectations and get dressed somewhat professionally each day, eat healthy meals for breakfast, lunch and dinner, get some exercise and try to stay out the trackie pants.

Staff are anonymous to protect the identities of their children who may attend our school (although the first one is Kevin).