Year Six

Our Year 6 writers are on fire! (not literally, just metaphorically!)

We are excited to share with you some of the wonderful writing that our students have produced this term. 

In Year 6 we have continued to study and utilise the 6+1 Writing Traits in our daily Literacy lessons. The Six Traits of writing are Voice, Ideas, Presentation, Conventions, Organization, Word Choice, and Sentence Fluency. Focusing on the traits helps to create a common vocabulary and guidelines which we can use with students so that they become familiar with the terms used in writing.

Throughout the term we have shared many online audio books as well as picture story books from our school library and some amazing new titles which were featured in the CBCA Book Week. By studying successful authors’ writing styles, we have been able to ‘borrow’ ideas and strategies which the children have incorporated into their own writing.

Here are some of our Writers’ Notebook tasks and examples of student work:

TASK - Using similes and metaphors, write a short piece on a subject of your choice. 

I stared at my younger sister. Her hair was the colour of cake batter, and looked like a bed of twigs, and her lovely silver eyes were already starting to rust. In her hand, she held a small scarlet book. It was her first ever book that she had bought with her own money. I remember her shaking the coins in her hands as we ran to the book store, and her choosing the book because she liked the colour. Little did she know that when she emerged from the book shop clutching the brown paper bag with the book inside, she was holding desperately onto the words that had saved her life. 

I glanced at my older sister. Like me, her eyes were the dark blue of her veins, but her hair was a soft, chestnut brown instead of a dark orange. She was rubbing her light blue hands together helplessly, hoping that the friction would warm them up. 

We were inside our tent, which was small and dark blue. For three days, we had been lost inside Evermore Forest. It had towering, dark trees, and leafy bushes, and a lingering presence that someone was there. On the floor, crispy leaves and Pine cones were scattered like biscuits, and in the sky, it was only rolling grey clouds arching their backs. We never should have brought our phones instead of a map, because now all we had to eat and drink was unfiltered pond water and stale crackers.  

By Daisy 6A

They entered the house, shaking wildly. The door was stiff, but opened as quiet as the sound of a pin dropping. The floorboards were rotting, and the 5 friends walked inside, on the tips of their toes. The only reason they were here was for answers, but the house wasn’t inviting. Chad spoke. "What are we looking for again?" He was like a walking chatterbox. The others gave him a glare, his face flushed red, and he looked down.

They crept slowly through the abandoned hallway, silver parts of what seemed to be machinery lay askew on the floor like leaves on an Autumn day. Sadie thought to herself. She remembered the day she was 7, jumping into a pile of red and yellow leaves, her parents by her side, in warm coats and scarves, smiling at her. Times change. Her parents were gone, they only people she had were those beside her right now. 

She tripped over a broken floorboard, falling on something bumpy, she stifled a scream of pain, clenching her teeth. The thing on the floor didn’t stab her, but it would surely bruise. 

The others rushed to help her up, and as they did, Sadie clutched her rib, possibly damaged. Lightning struck the old house, the light flashing before their eyes. Their eyes re-adjusted to the light, and they could no longer see. Justin swore and he stomped on the thing Sadie had fallen over on, and by their expressions, he immediately regretted it. 

The house thundered like an earthquake. It seemed to be footsteps, and everything shook each time they landed. Whatever was in the house was coming for them, and it wasn’t human.   By Jada 6A

Her fingers were spindly, like needles painted white.

Her hair was strands of air.

Her dress billowed out like a cloud in the night,

But was she even really there?

Her lips guarded secrets from the world,

Secrets too big to spill.

And her eyes, shades of grey, inwards they curled,

Her throat could produce weeps, so shrill. 

She sat on a bench, not happy, not sad.

Just a being, although not alive.

Tracing fingers past the lily pad, 

Not a plan left to contrive.

By Izzy 6B

As I step out of the car I can feel the wind rush past us like it's a wild thing full of unstoppable energy. It tosses everything around but it is great to be here. The first time I've ever been anywhere except for my house, street and a supermarket since lockdown. When we slowly enter the shopping centre it is warmer than outside but it feels like the air conditioner is on, conjuring the effect that the temperature is as warm as a sunny, calm summer day. The air conditioner pulled different scents from the shop towards us as we walked up to the desk to collect our package. I looked past the table that blocked the entrance to the store and saw that there was a display of candles, all different scents, arranged in a pattern designed to draw customers over to look. The scent I recognised that the air conditioner blew towards us was the scent of watermelon and something else I couldn't quite place. Again it reminded me of Summer, my favourite season. To me it represented freedom and happiness as I enjoyed Summer and had various memories that all reminded me of not being in lockdown. Being able to go to shopping centres, having fun with friends, going to school and the change from Winter to Spring and approaching Summer. A time when you did not have to worry about the number of people that were infected and if that meant we would stay in lockdown or go back to school. You had other ways of seeing our friends than just seeing them on a computer screen, separated. You did not have to wonder whether we were able to do something. You did not have to check the restrictions that are in place. You did not have to watch opportunities and time slip away and realise what you were really missing out on. 

Experiences that will not come again. Things that you have been doing your whole life in a sort of routine vanish into thin air. You did not have to worry whether you will see friends and teachers again. Will this carry on until we are separated, never to go to the same school and have experiences again in the same way we did before, blocked by this invisible threat, this uncatchable thief that steals time and opportunities away from us? Until all that's left are cancelled events and things we could have done if COVID wasn't there. Now it is exciting when the numbers go down by 10… or when 10% more people are vaccinated. When less people are dying. And when you get to see your class online and you can facetime them for 30 minutes. 

The girl places a bag on top of the table and smiles. We sanitise then take the bag, thank 

them and slowly walk through the empty shopping centre, allowing the two people behind us to move up the line. We can still enjoy small things though, spending time with family, exercising and having fun with friends, making your own fun and the kind and amazing things your teachers do to make it more enjoyable and fun and try to provide other opportunities for you. 

Even if Australia has no cases there will be other countries that haven't taken the situation so well. The world has been marked by COVID and COVID is the world's kryptonite.

By Evelyn 6D

TASK - Choose a specific trick/activity you can do. It could be a cartwheel, riding a bike, jumping on a trampoline or even rolling down a grassy hill. 

• Visualise the trick or activity.
• Now, in as much detail as possible, write how your body moves and feels throughout the trick or activity. (try not to give it away!) 

The propulsion of my body gliding across the surface of the water, combined with the arm and leg motions and the natural flotation of my body, create peace in my mind. All that I am thinking about is how one arm must go after the other. My legs kick in rhythmic patterns. My goggles are tight on my face but because of them I am able to look at the world below me. Fish and coral have a way of creating something that look like communities.  Communities that are a lot more peaceful then the ones above the water. I take a deep breath through my snorkel and it fills up with water. I can't breathe. My head jumps out of the ocean and I take deep breaths while paddling over to the sand. The sun heats up my back as I lay on my towel. The rings around my eyes caused by my goggles sting and the sand between my toes itches. By Skye 6B

TASK - Write about this image:

•  Include descriptive language and refer to the 5 senses and emotions. 

The sun rose without hurrying. The warm heat flowed carelessly in all different directions. The  plainland air smelt fresh.

The young cub arose from its cosy slumber, wide awake and full of sweet passion. 

Its mother was still frozen in a deep sleep. It was early.

Stealthily sneaking, the cub crept across the long olive-green grass. 

By Kade 6B

TASK - Use this picture prompt and first sentence to create a short story for today. Consider using a 'circular style' structure where the first and last sentences are the same. Remember to 'show not tell'. 

The bird closed its eyes and began to dream. It dreamt about the big blue sky and the world around him that wasn’t the small metal cage he was stuck inside. He saw the other birds flying in the sky with the wind lifting up their wings as they took off. He woke up suddenly. The bird had a sudden urge to escape the cage and be free like the rest of the birds. The bird tried to fly through the tiny gaps in the cage. He was too fat. He kept on trying but it was too hard. The bird sat on his perch and thought for a little bit. He thought, "Maybe if I fly through the top of the cage…" He looked up and thought to himself, ‘I can do it.’ He flew up, gathering lots of momentum and BANG! The bird had bashed his head into the cage. The bird drifted down to the bottom of the cage. The bird started chirping for help but then the bird closed its eyes and began to dream.

By Amelia 6A

The bird closed its eyes and began to dream... 

She dreamt of the wind in her face, the sound in her ears, and the view of the village from the sky. The town was quite small and grassy. The houses were made of stone and bricks. From above she could see kids playing in the town centre. A long road stretched up from the bottom of the town all the way to the top. There were outskirts of the village on both sides of the main road, they almost looked like wings. There was a circular cluster of houses at the top of the village with a fountain of to the right side that looked like an eye. From above she could just make out a shape of a bird below the clouds, it was a village, and it was shaped just like her. 

She woke up in his cage with sweat on her face and her heart beat in her ears. She gazed around the room. She was still in her annoying old cage, in an annoying old house with an annoying owner. She could just make out the silhouette of her owner asleep on her bed. He knew that he would never be more than a pet, she would never be as successful as other birds like Ethan the eagle or Henry the hawk. They had saved the world and she was just a pet that was poked at all day.

By Julia 6D

TASK – Free Write

The huge three tonne hippo stared through black slitted eyes as its mouth hung open revealing four massive tusks. It growled a low rumble that sounded like thunder. And then it charged. The colossal mass of the enraged hippo against the small tourist bus was no competition. The bus was thrown off the ground and rolled a couple of metres and slipped into the deep muddy water of the river. All the tourists on the bus had no choice but to flee the sinking bus. The hippo saw this and turned its humongous head to face the three terrified tourists. It charged a second time with frightening speed smashing into a scrambling tourist desperately trying to get out of the way. It turned towards the last tourist and began its charge.

By Tex 6B