Chaplain's Chat

This week

Everyone needs to feel loved. Gary Chapman in his book The Five Love Languages, identifies five ways that we give and receive love. All of us will benefit from receiving the five, but we have a primary love language, and then usually another one, or even two, others. The five love languages are:

Words of Affirmation: This language uses words to affirm other people e.g. telling your child they have done a good job.

Acts of Service: For these people, actions speak louder than words e.g. helping your child with their schoolwork, masking them snacks, driving them places.

Receiving gifts: For some people, what makes them feel most loved is to receive a gift e.g. giving your child a special surprise, making them their favourite meal. .

Quality time: This language is all about giving the other person your undivided attention e.g. playing a game with your child, giving them your undivided attention.

Physical Touch: To this person, nothing speaks more deeply than appropriate touch e.g. high fives, cuddles, wrestling, sitting your child in your lap.

Chapman states, ‘I believe that our deepest emotional need is the need to feel loved. If we are married, the person we would most like to love us is our spouse. If we feel loved by our spouse, the whole world is bright and life is wonderful. On the other hand, if we feel rejected or ignored, the world begins to look dark’. The same goes for our kids.  As Chapman says, ‘I like to visualize that inside every child there is an emotional love tank. If the child feels loved by the parents, the child grows up normally. But if the love tank is empty and the child does not feel loved, he/she will grow up with many internal struggles and during the teenage years will go looking for love, often in the wrong places. It is extremely important that parents learn how to love children effectively’.

Can I encourage you to figure out which are your child’s love languages? You can read more about the five love languages from the books The Five Love Languages or The Five Love Languages of Children both by Gary Chapman (feel free to borrow them from me). Information can also be found online at: https://www.5lovelanguages.com/5-love-languages/  

This link will tell you what your love language is, and those of your children!

http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/

Some additional resources:

Yesterday I heard Martine Oglethorpe speak on Digital Wellbeing and Online Safety. Her webpage is:  www.themodernparent.net  Another useful website on this topic is https://www.esafety.gov.au/, both really helpful as we navigate, together with our children, the online world.

Sarah McIntosh