Middle Years 

We are near the end of a busy term, and there has been much to celebrate over recent weeks. This week the Year 7 and 8 girls participated in a Jean Hailes Girls’ Conference at Monivae. Presenters included a doctor and dietician who talked about puberty issues and the need to eat well and to have kind self-talk.

In myPEC we continually look at ways to foster growth in our students, and one area that needs constant attention is Self-Control. This is the belief you have the skills and ability to cope with changes and challenges. I encourage parents to discuss this at home with your teenagers, and look for ways to develop self-control.

Why is Having a Sense of Control So Important?

• It helps us curb impulsive responses.
• It helps us not to feel frustrated, angry, or overwhelmed.
• It helps us manage negative reactions like stress/anxiety.

Ways to Feel More in Control

• Think helpfully and realistically.
• Learn time-management skills to stay on top of foreseeable events.
• Learn stress reduction and management techniques, like relaxation exercises.
• Speak to yourself helpfully, and challenge unhelpful self-talk

Your Sense of Control is your realistic belief that you have the skills and ability to cope with the changes and challenges that will occur in your life.

It is normal to want to feel in control of your life.  From an early age, we all seek to gain the freedom to do what we please.  However, we come to realise that we can’t always do what we like; this applies not only to children, but to teenagers, and adults as well.  We are all constrained by rules, face relationship strains, and have to cope with unexpected circumstances.  It is especially in these unexpected, challenging times that our Sense of Control is of greatest benefit to us.

When we think that we lack control over events in our life we can feel frustrated, stressed, angry, or overwhelmed.  While these reactions are normal, they don’t help change the situation – worse, they can be harmful, both physically and psychologically.  So, it is very important that we realise that while we can’t control all of the events in our life, we can control the way we respond to those events.  We can choose how we interpret or think about events, and this in turn helps us control how we feel about them, and consequently make clear decisions about what actions we take.  In other words, Sense of Control involves us taking command of how we think about the things that happen to us, which can make us feel more empowered to deal with life’s challenges.

Julia Winter Cooke