When Overthinking Gets in the Way

Two nights ago, I had a persistent cough. It was tickly, and my throat was a little sore.  After about 10 minutes, it settled down. Yesterday morning, I woke up with a cracking headache, a sore chest and a flu-like symptoms. “I’ve got COVID” was where my thought processes went to. After all, it was just like it was on ANZAC Day, when I last “got it”.  

I started to catastrophise – will I be able to see my very ill mother-in-law before I have to return to school?  What about all the work I have to do? The packing up of her flat, the school deadlines that are looming – all of these need me to be well!

When my wife came into the kitchen for breakfast, I shared my galloping thoughts. With a small smile, she advised me that I had “chopped wood” as I slept last night, so loud was my snoring. No wonder I had a headache, and the sore throat – well, it was fairly obvious what that was all about, she posited. 

In spite of Kris speaking logic into the situation, I still took a COVID test – no double line.  At this point, I relaxed – a little ashamed and chastened at my continuing expertise in the area of “overthinking”.

I share here what I suspect is common for many in our community. We work and live at a fast pace; our minds can race, and this is a fertile ground for ungodly thoughts and practices. As a community of believers, we share faith in the one true God. And, we need to help one another get back to those spaces where we leave to God what is His, and get on with what He has called us to do. 

If what I share here helps you in dealing with overthinking, take these words to be for you.  That is my intent – to help, not to criticize.

My mind does funny things when I read a situation incorrectly, because I don’t have all the information needed to understand it fully. It decides to take a perfectly normal situation and come up with about seven different things that could go wrong out of it. Or it can take something someone says, something completely innocent, and turn it into several different reasons why that person has an ulterior motive.  

If we are honest with ourselves, this sequence of mind games is an easy trap to fall into, especially in a large (multi-denominational, multi-ethnic, multi-perspective) community of (seemingly) like-minded adults, raising their families in (apparently) similar ways to our own.

It’s classic overthinking, and it tends to happen because: I’m worrying about “what ifs” when I don’t need to be. I’m taking something personally that doesn’t really have much to do with me. I care too much about what other people think. I don’t have control over the situation in the ways I’d like to. 

All valid thoughts in the mind of the overthinker, but – shared beyond their own thought processes with others who may, too, be overthinkers – the feelings can escalate, and people and situations can become completely misrepresented and misunderstood. 

What’s the problem with overthinking?

It’s futile, and it’s exhausting. You can wear yourself out doing it, and it either doesn’t get you anywhere, or it takes you to very unhelpful places – places where conspiratorial thoughts take hold of normal thinking processes. 

Sometimes, I even entertain the thought that overthinking is how things are supposed to be. I have to think of every possible outcome, so I’ll be “prepared“. I have to worry about what everyone is thinking, because I want them to think like me. 

However, I’m pretty sure that’s not what Jesus had in mind when he said he wanted us to "have life and have it to the full"  John 10:10. A full life doesn’t mean one that is full of crippling thoughts and fear. 

1 John 4:18 says that “perfect love drives out fear”. This passage focuses on God’s love for us. We don’t have to live in fear and self-protection, because we can be confident that God loves us perfectly, knows how to answer every fear, cares for our wellbeing, and will fight for us.

What does this have to do with overthinking?

How do we keep one thing from spiraling out of control in our heads, going from one simple thought to many worries and cares? That is, from one reading of a situation that was innocent, to a darker and more sinister perspective.

The Bible has words for that. God promises to be our defender. His promises give us everything we need. Here are some Bible verses for when we’re overthinking, to help us get back to a more peaceful, faithful place.

“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” 

Romans 8:38-39

“The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” 

Exodus 14:14 

“Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your hearts on things above, not on earthly things.” 

Colossians 3:1-2 

“Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.” 

Galatians 1:10

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us…” 

Hebrews 12:1 

“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ.” 

2 Corinthians 10:5 

“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” 

Matthew 6:33-34 

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid: do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” 

Joshua 1:9 

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.” 

Philippians 4:6-8 

Nothing will separate us from the love of our Creator; he actively watches over us. There is nowhere in any of these passages that says that things will be easy.  But, if we acknowledge the magnitude of the promise that our powerful God is always on our side, we know God will fight for us, and he can work incredible miracles.

When we focus on what’s around us, our problems overwhelm us, and God can appear small in our minds. If it’s not the circumstances that are stressful, it might be the people involved. By keeping our eyes focused on the path already marked out for us, we can stop acting out of fear – fear is a classic product of overthinking.

If we choose faith over fear, by being obedient to Christ, by focusing on the good, fixing what we can, and believing God’s promises, we begin to bless those people and the situations where we’ve been trapped in a cycle of uncertainty brought on by our overthinking. 

We should remember every time God has come through for our school community, our families, our own selves, and remember that he is with us always, wherever we go. 

We should be proactive about protecting our minds and hearts. Are there situations that contribute to our overthinking? Conversations we have that are not helpful, maybe full of gossip, certainly not fully informed? Maybe it would be best to avoid these altogether.

The last Bible passage, from Philippians, exhorts us to pray about it. Think through the things we are grateful for. And set our minds on things that are true and worthy, not on the lies and fears. God promises – peace is on its way.

Shalom.