Wellbeing

Healthy Conversations

As we return to school and the playground, it can be challenging for some children to reconnect and find something to do during the play breaks. Your child might even come home and saying something like “I had no one to play with today,” or “Lunchtime is boring because there is nothing to do.” 

Our brains are wired to always look for the negative first. This is called the negativity bias. When something happens during the day and it is not so great, our brains will focus on that one thing despite many good things having happened. Often times in the playground, children will have played happily with others for most of the time outside however their brains will remember the few minutes when they were trying to find their friend rather than the fun they have had. Hence the relaying after school of “I had no one to play with.”

It's important to remember that the way we frame our questions at the end of the day can also trigger a negative memory rather than the many positive things that have happened. 

Perhaps have a go at asking “Tell me something good that happened today?” or “Tell me about the people you are playing with at school?” Rather than asking “How was your day?” which opens the door to thinking about the few minutes when something negative may have occurred.

Don’t forget to model positive talk by including your own stories. What about at the dinner table or in the car? “Let’s all share one thing that made us smile today” or “Here’s my top 3 things about today, what are yours?” Children not only love to hear about your day but it helps them place their own experiences in perspective.

Researchers have shown that it takes many positive thoughts/ experiences to counteract just one negative thought. Helping our children to find the positive in a situation is a powerful tool in strengthening their mental health.

The Wellbeing Team