Fr Alan's Weekly Reflection

Forgiveness is an act of generosity

Two men by the name of Smith and Jones were walking to work. They stopped by the newspaper stand on their way. Smith bought a newspaper. The man behind the counter was rude in his manner. He made no attempt to make eye contact, shoved the paper forcefully into Smith’s hands and virtually threw his change at him. Smith smiled and thanked the man for his service. As they walked away Jones asked the question “Why were you so nice to that man when he was so rude to you?” Smith replied “I was determined not to allow him to decide how I was going to act.”

This Sunday  we hear in the Gospel Jesus saying “Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you etc...” At first it sounds like Jesus wants us to allow people to walk all over us. Rather he is saying we engage aggression by turning it into something new. This means taking a step back and thinking about how we would like to respond instead of immediately reacting.  If we act violently when someone is violent towards us then all that does is perpetuate more violence. When I look at countries who are enemies and who threaten war against others I sometimes wonder what would happen if one side simply did an act of kindness that was freely given and without thinking whether it was deserved or not? It is only by that kind of generosity that true peace is possible.

When we refuse to forgive someone who has hurt us in some way we give that person power over us. If we allow it to continue we will eventually cause harm to people who we love and who love us. When someone hurts us the desire for revenge is the most natural feeling in the world but we are asked to give it up for the sake of ourselves, for the sake of those we love and for God’s sake. Forgiveness is not condoning an act of wrong done to us but rather it is a decision not to allow the hurts of the past determine how we will act in the future.