Faith & Wellbeing
WELLBEING
Dear Parents,
Below I have included the first half of an article by Georgina Manning, a Teacher, Counsellor and Psychotherapist with a wealth of knowledge in Wellbeing.
I came across the article at my Wellbeing Network Day last term with leaders from around the Southern Region. Georgina’s article speaks to normalising anxiety and worries, and just how important it is to equip our young people with skills to handle these feelings.
Please let me know if you found the article useful!
Warmest Regards,
Stacey Clingan (Nelson)
snelson@stjamesbrighton.catholic.edu.au
Supporting your child with anxiety
by georgina@wellbeingforkids.com.au | Jul 11, 2017 | Blog |
Reassure that anxiety is normal
Let your child know that it is normal to have fears and worries and that you also get worried at times.
Remind your child that anxiety is not dangerous – it is just a feeling that people have.
Reassure that you can relax and calm yourself down when anxious through using calming strategies, talking to someone or finding something fun/interesting to do.
Teach your child to recognise how anxiety feels in their body
Help them to identify where anxiety feels in their own body such as a jumpy tummy, feeling sick, heart racing, feeling dizzy etc. Share how anxiety feels in your body as well (to help normalise anxious feelings). Explain that this is the body’s way of letting them know there is danger so they can keep themselves safe.
You can explain the body’s reaction like a smoke alarm going off in the house when there is fire. When we get worried an alarm system like a ‘smoke alarm’ goes off. Our bodies respond by having a racing heart, feeling a bit sick, dizzy, muscles tense up etc. This is really normal and helps to protect us.
If children are old enough you can explain in these more scientific details: the smoke alarm is the part of the brain called the amygdala. When this is activated, this fires off the adrenal glands which then fires off the body’s response to prepare for danger – this is why we get the body reactions.
It is important to explain that sometimes the smoke alarm goes off when it doesn’t need to. This is when we worry about something that is not dangerous to us (even though it feels like it is). Our bodies are still reacting to this danger even though it is not real. We can however calm down our bodies and stop the smoke alarm by calming ourselves down with a range of helpful strategies such as practicing Mindfulness exercises.
The pre-frontal cortex which is what we call our ‘noticing’ brain has the ability to switch off the smoke alarm (amygdala). Noticing in a particular way helps us to to turn off our smoke alarm. That’s why we bring in our awareness to what is happening, rather than trying to fight what is happening or run away from it. Our awareness alone turns off the smoke alarm. If we try to problem solve by running away or fighting the response, then this will just generate thoughts and feelings which makes us dwell on things and reflect on things. This just reinforces and strengthens the response. Just by noticing our body’s reaction, helps this whole process to switch off without ‘trying’ to switch things off as it uses a different part of the brain.
Link this body recognition with using calming strategies so children can see the link between anxious thoughts and physical symptoms and that they have control to calm their body and also their mind when anxious.
After using calming strategies or exercise, discuss how they feel in their body and see if they notice a difference before and after using the strategies. This helps them to see the value in using the calming techniques and empowers them to have control of their mind and body when anxious. It teaches them that anxiety can lessen by managing it themselves.
Help your child to recognise anxious thoughts
Teach kids that they have thoughts all the time and some are helpful and some are not. Just because we have a thought about something (or worried about something) it does not mean that it will come true or that there is truth in the thought.
Depending on your child’s age, it can be really helpful to teach children to notice thoughts that are unhelpful. As a parent you can help your child to reframe how they perceive a situation by helping them to see that they may have unhelpful thoughts that don’t make them feel good. It is important to help them to discuss more helpful thoughts once they have received emotional support first so they feel heard and understood.
Encourage healthy risk taking
Risk tasking in day to day life is essential for building resilience and lessening anxiety. It teaches children that even though they may be worried about doing something new or difficult, they can still have a go and things will be ok. This then builds confidence and makes the world an exciting place instead of a scary one.
If we don’t encourage risk taking we give a clear message that the world is scary and that they won’t be able to cope if something new if thrown their way.
Getting used to making mistakes is an essential part of risk taking. Without making mistakes we are not trying anything new or stretching ourselves to see what we are capable of.
Role modelling risk taking is important also. Share how you make mistakes all the time and that this is a part of learning something new and part of just being human.
Teach relaxation and calming strategies
Learning how to relax and calm yourself down is so important for children with anxiety. As a parent you can role model and directly teach children how to calm themselves down when they feel anxious by using the following techniques:
Breathing technique: Take in a deep breath through your nose and then imagine you are blowing out a candle or blowing big bubbles that float away. Breathe out through your mouth. Continue to do this for a few minutes, deliberately slowing down the breaths each time.
Mindfulness muscle relaxation – ‘Tense and Relax’ technique. Closing your eyes, tense and then relax each part of your body starting with your toes. E.g. tense up all the muscles in your toes by ‘scrunching’ them up as tight as you can. Then relax the toes by letting them ‘flop’. Then move up to your feet, ankles, lower legs etc and continue up to your face and head. Take time to tense and then relax each area.
Finding something fun or relaxing to do. Encourage your child to do an activity that is naturally relaxing for them. This will be an activity that puts them in the ‘flow’. Flow activities are activities where you lose track of time and are fully engaged. Flow activities are usually things we are good at or are drawn towards. Each child will be different with their flow activities and it is easy to pick what they are – just watch your child and take note of when they are fully engaged in an activity.
Practice Mindfulness Exercises every day
Learn how to use Mindfulness meditation exercises and practice them each day. Research shows that mindfulness meditation actually changes the structure of the brain and is one of the most powerful ways to lessen anxiety. Even just 5 – 10 minutes each day will make an enormous difference.
Have chill out time each day
As well as learning how to relax when there is anxiety present, it is important to also keep anxiety and stress levels low by factoring in time each day to just chill out. As children are often over scheduled and overstimulated through technology, it is vital that there is time to just ‘be’ each day. This can be by playing with a favourite toy, building something, creating art work, playing with animals, playing a board game, drawing, making cubbies in the garden – the list is endless.
Point your child in the direction of an activity that makes them feel good when they are also feeling anxious. An activity that is unstructured and free helps children to engage the creative part of their brain which in turn lessens anxiety. If children are used to spending chill out time each day, then it will be familiar to them if they need to calm down when anxious. If they spend a lot of time on technology and little time with creative play, it will be harder to direct them to creative activities when they are feeling stressed,.
It is important to note that chill out time is not time on technology. Although this may appear to be an activity that is relaxing, it is not effective for lessening anxiety or to wind down the brain after a full day of learning at school or after stressful events. Technology at night can also keep children wired up for hours which can affect sleeping patterns.
Dates for the Diary
Term 3
Friday 3rd August - Confirmation Reflection Day
Wednesday 8th & Thursday 9th August - Confirmation Mass 7pm at St Joan of Arc
Thursday 23rd August - Communal Reconciliation.