From the School Nurse

BULLYING

What is bullying?

Bullying is an ongoing misuse of power in relationships through repeated verbal, physical and/or social behaviour that causes physical and/or psychological harm. It can involve an individual or a group misusing their power over one or more persons. Bullying can happen in person or online, and it can be obvious or hidden.

Some conflicts between young people are a normal part of growing up and are to be expected. Single incidents and conflicts or fights between equals, whether in person or online, are not considered bullying, even though they may be upsetting and need to be resolved.

Bullying of any form or for any reason can have long-term effects on those involved, including bystanders. Identifying bullying can sometimes be difficult. Bullying is often conducted out of sight of teachers and young people may be reluctant to report bullying.

What you can do as a parent

Parents play a key role in preventing and responding to bullying. 

Recognize the warning signs that your child is involved in bullying. They could be being bullied, bullying others, or witnessing bullying.  Although these signs could signal other issues, you should talk to your child if they display any sort of behavioural or emotional changes.  Many times young people won’t ask for help, so it is important to know what to look for. 

Signs a Young Person is Being Bullied 

Look for changes in your child. However, be aware that not all young people who are bullied exhibit warning signs.

Some signs that may point to a bullying problem are: 

• Unexplained injuries
• Lost or destroyed clothing, books, electronics, or jewellery
• Frequent headaches or stomach aches, feeling sick or faking illness
• Changes in eating habits, like suddenly skipping meals or binge eating. Kids may come home from school hungry because they did not eat lunch.
• Difficulty sleeping or frequent nightmares
• Declining grades, loss of interest in schoolwork, or not wanting to go to school
• Sudden loss of friends or avoidance of social situations
• Feelings of helplessness or decreased self esteem
• Self-destructive behaviours such as running away from home, harming themselves, or talking about suicide

Signs a Young Person is Bullying Others

Young people may be bullying others if they:   

• Get into physical or verbal fights
• Have friends who bully others
• Are increasingly aggressive
• Get sent to the principal’s office or to detention frequently
• Have unexplained extra money or new belongings
• Blame others for their problems
• Don’t accept responsibility for their actions
• Are competitive and worry about their reputation or popularity

My child has seen bullying take place

Your child may know someone who is being bullied or has seen it happening at school. Even just witnessing bullying can be disturbing for a young person. A person who witnesses or knows bullying is occurring is called a bystander and requires support to deal with what they have seen or know is taking place.

Bystander concerns include:

• not knowing what to do or not wanting to make the situation worse
• not knowing if their actions will make a difference
• feeling worried about their safety if they intervene
• feeling worried about the impact of taking action on their friendships
• being anxious that they will be bullied as a result of intervening.

Research shows that peers are present in 85% of bullying incidents at school. Bullying has been shown to stop within 10 seconds when bystanders take positive action.

Utilize tips and tools to talk to your child about bullying. Opening lines of communication before your child is involved in bullying makes it easier for them to tell you when something happens. It is also important to work with a school to help prevent bullying before it starts.

Communicating with the school

Understanding what has happened can also help in communicating with school about the situation.

If you are concerned your child is being bullied, harassed or physically hurt, talk to the school about your concerns. The best outcomes for your child will be achieved by you and the school working together. The sooner the school receives information about a bullying issue, the quicker they can respond. 

Schools are aware of the potential harmful effects of bullying, including online bullying (cyberbullying), on young people and take reports of bullying seriously. 

Schools must follow privacy laws and may not be able to tell you everything that has taken place, especially about any other students involved. These laws also keep you and your child’s information private too.

As availability to technology is rapidly increasing, bullying may extend beyond the school. If bullying happens online or via text messages outside school, report it to the school especially if other young people from the school are involved.

References: www.stopbullying.gov , www.bullyingnoway.gov.au