Student Support

Here we are revisiting some helpful tips in supporting positive behaviour. We often slip back into 'default' responses to our children's challenging behaviours, especially in difficult and anxious times as these.

6 “Hot Tips” for Managing Your Child’s Behaviour

Remember: the best way to change your child's behaviour is to change your own behaviour. All the best strategies involve setting routines, rewarding the behaviour you want to encourage, avoiding confrontations and modelling the behaviour you want to see in your child.

1. Emphasise the positives, and catch your child being good. Draw attention to behaviour you want, not to challenging behaviour. 
   Test yourself: How many days this week did you praise your child?
2. Make sure your child knows what the "right" behaviour is, not just the "wrong" behaviour. Sit down and explain why a certain behaviour is a problem - for them and for you. Ask for your child's ideas on solving a problem, and for alternative ways of behaving.  When your child misbehaves, describe what they have done and why it is unacceptable in a calm clear voice, before stating what you want them to do next.
   Test yourself: Last time your child misbehaved, did you explain why it was a problem?
3. Establish clear rules - but only about things worth worrying about. Decide on three behaviours that you can't stand any longer, sit the kids down, and set the rules as statements of how everyone must behave. No arguments - you are the adult, and it is just part of the job description to set rules:
   1. "Everyone in our house speaks in nice words to each other: no put-downs and no swearing"
   2. "Only adults turn on the TV"
   3. "Food comes after school bags have been unpacked and put in rooms"
4. Agree on one reminder then logical consequences.
   Test yourself: Can your child tell you the three main rules in your house?
5. Make good behaviour easy for your child. Give choices: "You can start homework now, or have 10 minutes outside with the dog before you start homework. " Make sure everyone in the family is expected to stick by the rules: it has to be fair. Avoid backing your child into a corner - try to be flexible and find solutions that work around problems.
   Test yourself: Did you give choices last time you asked your child do to something?
6. Avoid arguments. You own the house, you drive the car, you set the rules. Getting into an argument will only escalate the issue. Model the kind of behaviour you want to see in your child: Stay calm. Talk in a steady voice. Restate the rules. Remain silent if screamed at. Walk away for a short while. Set the ground rules: your child has a right to express opinions, but not by screaming.                                                   Test yourself: When did you last yell?