Principal

Balance and Moderation and Goldilocks

In the well-known fairy tale of Goldilocks and the Three Bears, we have the story of a young girl who is a home invader. She breaks into someone else’s house and steals food, destroys furniture and helps herself to a stranger’s bed to take a nap. We have a very traditional family of bears with some fairly outdated stereotypes for good measure: a gruff, remote and unfeeling father, a softly spoken demure mother, and a whining, whingeing child. Is the moral of the story about respect for other people’s possessions, or is it a cautionary tale of not doing the wrong thing lest you get found out, for if you do, you could put yourself in grave danger? I rather think the whole tale is simply about balance and moderation. 

Goldilocks perseveres with the porridge until she gets one that is “just right”, being neither too hot, nor too cold. Similarly, Goldilocks attempts to sit in a chair that is “just right”, not too high or not too low. On this occasion, the balance is not quite right, and she breaks the chair. Lastly, and to reinforce the moral, Goldilocks fancies a nap and finds a bed that on balance, is “just right”. Neither too much nor too little of one thing. 

My grandmother used to love a tablespoon of brandy in her morning cup of tea. This did not happen at any other time of the day, and she was otherwise almost a non-drinker. She used to say to my mother in her broad Yorkshire accent: “Maureen, I’ll have a bit o’ brandy in me tea. And, let your ‘and slip!” In other words, be a little generous. It served her well for she lived to the ripe age of 94! She also was fond of saying “everything in moderation”. 

When we are running rough, our lives are usually out of balance. Something is simply out of whack. If we burn the candle and work too hard, we become tired and grumpy and inevitably some other aspect of our life suffers. The “all work and no play” routine can cause stress at home with our families, it upsets our internal balance and we often then feel unhappy and short-tempered. If we over-indulge in food or alcohol, similarly the balance is not right. We feel bloated and unwell. 

Balance in our lives is not easy to achieve but is so important to our overall welfare. Our College Wellbeing Framework outlines the key areas that we feel contribute to a balanced lifestyle where the physical, spiritual, emotional, academic, and social are given their due attention. We want our boys to be active and to engage in team sports so that they learn the value of a healthy body, and the thrill of working with others towards a common goal. We desire that their faith is nurtured and continues to be formed and informed by the love of God in their lives. We want them to be attuned to their emotions; the feelings they have and to make emotionally informed and balanced decisions. Particularly for young men, we do not want them to subdue or ignore their emotional responses to life. And we want them to take care of their minds, to grow their knowledge and understandings and to improve their mental fitness. Similarly, we want them to have life-giving social outlets, to develop relationships and friendships with others, because innately, we desire communion with our fellow humans. 

There is a German word that I love that has no simple translation into English. The word is stimmung. It means mood or atmosphere, but it is more than that. It refers to tone, or sometimes it is described as tuning – our inner tuning. If the mood, or tuning is not right, then there is a bad stimmung. It tends to rule us. When we experience good stimmung, we are well tuned; perhaps attuned to ourselves internally, and our mood or atmosphere is just right. Just like Goldilocks. 

We have a responsibility to ourselves to balance the many aspects of our lives, our work, our relationships, our emotions, our loves and desires and our health. In raising our children, we want them not to overdose on sugary treats, or time on their devices, because we know that it is not good for them. We must insist on these things, because we know that if this balance is not right it will lead to unwanted outcomes. Sometimes our young people do not see the consequences of these things immediately. That is why they have us as parents! We need to attend to our balance of mind, body and spirit, so that as my grandmother simply said, everything is in moderation. 

Maybe Goldilocks should have been arrested for break and enter and possession of stolen goods (the porridge). Maybe she should have known not to go into the woods, for danger potentially lurks there. Maybe Goldilocks was simply in need of a good feed, some shelter and some refuge. Whatever spin we put on the tale; she certainly was a girl in seek of balance. She found food and rest that was just right. The Goldilocks principle for me, is one of balance and moderation. May your week’s energies and expenditure of time and love be just right. 

Craig Wattam

Principal