Counsellor & Well being News
“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom”
Self awareness is about being aware and confident of who you are. It can relate to knowing your own values, beliefs, personal preferences and tendencies.
Improving self-awareness helps you to understand and learn more about yourself, what you’re capable of, develop your self-esteem and also help you to understand other people’s reactions to stuff that you’re doing.
People who are self-aware tend to act more consciously. Meaning, they make better decisions, have a more positive outlook on life and higher levels of well-being. By becoming self-aware you open up many opportunities and are able to have more honest and genuine relationships because the people that you’re attracted to will be attracted to you for who you actually are.
So how can you improve your self awareness?
RECOGNISE STRENGTHS AND WEAKNESSES
You can improve your self-awareness through evaluating your strengths and weaknesses. Being aware of these means you can work on any weaknesses and seek help if it is needed to make the necessary improvements. Asking for help is often perceived in a negative way; but it shouldn’t be. Everyone who is successful in life has had help to get there, often having a team around them to support, motivate and cheer them on.
ASK FOR FEEDBACK
Feedback is a tricky thing. If done correctly, it can help to ensure people are on the right path and to help them make improvements. Feedback is really helpful and most useful when it comes from those who understand us and will be honest.
When asking for feedback avoid only asking ‘is this ok?’, being distracted, asking either/or questions or too many questions. Also avoid using superlatives, words like ‘always’ and ‘never’, ‘best’ and ‘worst’. These words imply a black or white distinction. All in or nothing. In order to get the highest quality of feedback from someone, it is important to acknowledge that life is more nuanced than that.
BETTER SELF-REFLECTION
Daily self-reflection is a good way to enhance self-awareness, as it allows us to understand ourselves on a deeper level. Using a diary or journal is very effective as it provides an opportunity for thoughts and emotions to be unlocked.
Try to tune into your feelings. Be aware of physical signs that might indicate how you’re feeling. By engaging with how you’re feeling, you can get better insights into what you like, what makes you feel uncomfortable and what makes you angry
MONITOR SELF TALK
Another way is to assess your self-talk. Listen to yourself, your inner voice. What’s going on in your mind? Is it a lot of negative thoughts that make you feel pretty crappy? Or are you always looking on the bright side? Sometimes it helps to sit and write it down to get a better idea of how positive or negative they are.
Self talk needs to be helpful, with wins celebrated and failures not being excessively dwelt on. Saying “Stop” after an unhelpful thought can also act as a platform to halt a train of thought. Follow it with questioning, looking for evidence as to why it is not helpful to develop more helpful self talk.
PRACTICE SAYING ‘NO’
The ability to say no to ourselves to put off short-term gratification in favour of long-term gain is an important life-skill, and practicing this can improve self-awareness.
The implications self control and delaying short term gratification or being able to say ‘no’ are also far reaching. Many studies have shown that children with better self control are more attentive, verbally fluent, more academically and socially competent and better able to deal with stress.
QUESTION DECISIONS
Before acting on a decision, try coming up with three good reasons as to why you should pursue it. Stopping to ask yourself ‘why’ improves your self-awareness as it allows you to better understand the motives behind your decisions and explore them further, meaning that you can be more confident that the decisions you make are good ones.
SELF AWARENESS IS A SUPERPOWER
Developing self-awareness does not happen overnight and it can be difficult, as we often operate on autopilot; unconscious of our thoughts and feelings but the effort is well worth it and can lead to better decisions, healthier relationships and increased wellbeing.
Have a great weekend
Karen Surian