Principal
Control Your Temper and Anger
For the first time last week, I met the students in a full College Assembly (albeit Year 11 were on Retreat at Mulgoa). We have been back at school for seven weeks and it has been wonderful to see, meet and get to know the boys.
In my address, I spoke to the boys about my disappointment in reports of instances of anger and aggression between them such as:
- gossiping behind a boy’s back
- spreading of rumours and
- pushing, shoving and putting hands on one another.
This kind of hostility is most disappointing and not who we are. In their time here at SPC, the boys are not only learning about curriculum and playing competitive sport; they are also learning to develop their social skills, and controlling and managing anger is one of the most challenging lessons to learn.
I shared a story with them that has stuck in my mind over the years.
There once was a little boy who had a very bad temper. His father decided to hand him a bag of nails and said that every time the boy lost his temper, he had to hammer a nail into the fence.
On the first day, the boy hammered 37 nails into that fence.
The boy gradually began to control his temper over the next few weeks, and the number of nails he was hammering into the fence slowly decreased.
He discovered it was easier to control his temper than to hammer those nails into the fence.
Finally, the day came when the boy didn’t lose his temper at all. He told his father the news and the father suggested that the boy should now pull out a nail every day he kept his temper under control.
The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence.
“You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won’t matter how many times you say I’m sorry, the wound is still there.”
What is the moral of the story?
Control your anger, and don’t say or do things to people in the heat of the moment that you may later regret. Some things in life, you are unable to take back.
For some of our boys, long friendships are broken over, and they will never get them back to what they were; but they don’t have to repeat the same mistakes over again.
This is especially true as they start with winter sports. Some of these sports involve passionate physicality. Losing your temper on the field is an easy thing to do; controlling your temper isn’t. Being able to control anger/temper is a hallmark of the best sportsmen. They channel their frustrations into the win. That’s what I want our boys to do.
My expectation is that each boy finds a strategy that works for them to control their temper in the heat of the moment: counting to 10, walking away, writing down your thoughts and discussing when you’re calm are just a few. It would be fabulous if you could share with your son the strategies you employ, especially in the workplace, to deal with anger and temper!
SPC is a safe and supportive environment. Aggression, barbarism and mob mentality will not be tolerated. The boys have been reminded: mind your own temper and actions because that is the only thing you have control over.
28 March 2021: Palm Sunday of the Passion of the Lord
This coming Sunday, we commemorate Palm Sunday and the Gospel readings are about the Passion of our Lord and the denial of St Peter. I am reminded of a beautiful image painted by Michelangelo Merisi da Caravaggio in 1610 called "The Denial of Saint Peter” that is housed in the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York City.
It is a painting about the poignant and tragic moment during the arrest of Jesus involving Peter’s denial, a moment that is both heartbreaking and familiar.
Caravaggio’s The Denial of Saint Peter invites us into this moment with psychological intensity. We meet three characters standing together in the dark of night: a military guard, a maidservant, and Saint Peter himself. The guard’s face is in darkness, showing that he does not yet fully understand, but he is leaning in to hear and eyeing Peter carefully. His raised hand with an extended finger shows his understanding dawning. The maid’s hands right behind his are more clearly accusatory, pointing right at Peter.
Peter is at the right side of the scene, cast in a softer light. His hands point to his own chest in a self-condemning way. Though he did deny the Lord three times, it was his fear speaking, not his understanding. After the cock crowed, he realised the truth of what had happened. Jesus had foretold the scene, not condemning but plainly stating Peter’s need for healing, forgiveness, and faith. This truth casts Peter in the soft light of compassion, and he is able to turn his hands inward as if to accept the need for healing and forgiveness.
While we see this movement toward healing in the soft light, Caravaggio’s depiction of Peter also emphasizes the complexity of betrayal. We truly see Peter’s heartbreaking guilt, which will lead him to weep bitterly. Peter did contribute to the suffering brought on the Lord, sharing in the role of executioner, not physically but by his abandonment and denial.
The story of the Passion is full of moments of violence, tragedy, heartache, and pain. We see ourselves in these moments and feel the heartache for the ways we have contributed to the suffering. May we stand with Peter around the fire in the soft light of healing truth.
Sonnet to St Peter (by Michael Guite)
Impulsive master of misunderstanding
You comfort me with all your big mistakes;
Jumping the ship before you make the landing,
Placing the bet before you know the stakes.
I love the way you step out without knowing,
The way you sometimes speak before you think,
The way your broken faith is always growing,
The way he holds you even when you sink.
Born to a world that always tried to shame you,
Your shaky ego vulnerable to shame,
I love the way that Jesus chose to name you,
Before you knew how to deserve that name.
And in the end your Saviour let you prove
That each denial is undone by love. Amen
Community News
Please join me in congratulating Mr Ryan Marshall (Junior School Teacher) and his wife on the arrival of their son, Kai Emmanuel, born on Wednesday 17 March. Please also join me in congratulating Ms Chadia El-Edelbi (Science Teacher) and her husband on the arrival of their daughter Medina Hussein, born on Thursday 18 March. We thank the Lord for their safe arrival and know these children will bring their family many blessings.
Condolences
Please keep in your prayers William Allen (Year 8) and Jack Allen (Year 7) for the recent loss of their grandmother, Eileen Allen. Please also pray for Nicolas Delimitros (Year 10) and Christian Delimitros (Year 7) on the loss of their grandfather Bjarne Olsen.
Dr Vittoria Lavorato
Principal
SPC boys can do anything! *
*except divide by zero