Parenting Page

Term 1 Week 6

NSW Health: Family Text Message Research Study

Building Healthy Relationships with Teachers

by Michael Grose

Studies show that healthy parent-teacher relationships are a more significant factor in student success than parent income levels or social status. Parent-teacher relationships require effort and energy from both parties if they are going to really benefit children and young people. Here are some strategies to help you build a healthy working relationship with teachers in the year ahead.

Get to know them

For your partnership to be meaningful and successful, you need to meet with your children’s teacher(s) with the goal of forming a respectful professional relationship. Be willing to share your aspirations for your child and be willing to build the teacher’s knowledge about your family.  For a balanced perspective, also gain an understanding of the teacher’s approach and what focus areas they have for their particular year group. This can be done formally by attending the start of the year information evenings and informally through conversations, reading newsletters and staying in touch digitally and in real-time.

Trust their professionalism

Children need to know that their parents are fully behind what their teachers are trying to achieve if they are going to commit fully to learning. The best way to support your child’s teacher is to trust their knowledge, professionalism and experience. Avoid the temptation to question the expertise of teachers in front of students, particularly when the teachers use methods that you are unfamiliar with. Initiate conversations with teachers around methodology to give them the chance to explain the approach they are taking.

Go through the right channels

Despite the best teaching practices things do go wrong at school. Kids experience learning difficulties. Conflict and peer rejection happen. Kids will often come home from school with grievances and call on you for assistance. Resist the urge to react emotionally. If you need to contact teachers do so respectfully, calmly and through the correct channels. A measured response will generally achieve the best result for your child.

Utilise their resources

Teachers and schools often put a lot of work into sourcing and sharing credible resources that they think will help parents. Take the time to read, utilise and enjoy the information provided to you. It’s intended to make your parenting journey easier, which will also benefit your child not just at school, but at home. 

Build links to student learning

There’s a huge body of research that points to the correlation between parent engagement in student learning and their educational success. If you want your child to improve their learning, take an interest in what they are doing. Follow school and teacher guidelines about helping at home and attend as many conferences, meetings and events involving your child as possible. This strategy has a significant, long-term impact on your child’s attitude to learning.

Stay in touch

Life’s not always smooth sailing for kids of any age. Family circumstances change. Friends move away. Illness happens. Mental health challenges can hit anyone at any time. These changes affect learning. Make sure that you keep teachers up to date with significant changes or difficulties that your child or young person experiences so they can accommodate your child’s emotional and learning needs at school.

Be loyal

Show your loyalty to your child’s teachers by being an advocate. Talk positively about your child’s teacher and school, rather than being negative about them when speaking in the wider community. Teachers hold very public positions and generally work hard to build good reputations both within their school and their wider education community. Consider a teacher’s reputation among the community and also with children when you discuss educational matters with others.

Building healthy parent-teacher relationships doesn’t just happen

It takes goodwill from both sides, a commitment to setting aside the time necessary to support the home-based learning tasks that are expected, and a willingness to communicate both concerns and commendations through the correct channels.

Term 1 Week 5

Support for Father's being a Dad

Managing separation anxiety at school drop-offs

Need Help with Devices and the Internet at Home?

The eSafety Commissioner website helps Australians to have safer, more positive experiences online. The site has a parent page that provides advice for parents and carers to help children have safe experiences online.  eSafety Commissioner. 

ADDITIONAL SHORT ARTICLES FROM 'PARENTING IDEAS'

Reducing Separation Anxiety in Young Children

by Michael Grose

In the early years some clinginess, crying and tantrums are normal when a child is separating from parents. While a great deal of separation anxiety disappears with age, some young children will continue to experience anxiety when going to pre-school, child care or other care arrangements. This anxiety can be distressing for parents, and become an unnecessary source of guilt, further fuelling a child’s anxiety. Many children who experience separation anxiety are biologically predisposed to anxiousness, shying away from new or novel situations. Here are some ways to support an anxious child at drop-off:

Become practised at separations

Help your child become used to separations by leaving them with caregivers for short periods at first and gradually increasing the length of separation.

Get your child separation-ready

Tired, hungry kids are generally clingy, cranky kids. Similarly, rushed kids are often stressed kids. If your child continues to cling to you when you leave them at pre-school or with carers, check your home routines. Are they going to bed early enough to get sufficient sleep? Are they waking in time to complete their morning activities without being rushed? Are they getting an energy-boosting breakfast such as porridge or an egg to provide the fuel to put them in the right mood? Sometimes simple adjustments to home routines can make a big difference to how a child reacts when leaving their parents in the morning.

Develop a regular quick goodbye ritual

Rituals, like routines, are both reassuring and personal. Develop your own special good-bye ritual, which can be simple such as a special wave or kiss. Alternatively, a fun good bye ritual such as a high five, low five, fist pump bursting into a hand explosion can be something a child enjoys. One you’ve said good-bye leave quickly without stalling or looking back. Avoid making leaving a bigger deal than it what it is.

Take part of you with them

If the pre-school or child care centre allows it encourage your child to bring a comforter such as a favourite soft toy, part of a blanket or even something that you’ve given them such as photo or toy. Taking a part of you with them can provide an added layer of security when you’re not around.

Stay confident

Kids will often take their cues from their parents so a calm, reassuring approach can give your child the confidence they need that they will be okay.

Involve your child’s teacher or carer in the drop-off

Discuss separation with the pre-school teacher or carer and involve them in the transition. Settle your young child with the other carer, preferably being involved in an activity before saying goodbye and making a quick exit while your child is in the care of another adult.

When separation anxiety is not normal

Most separation anxiety is a normal part of your child’s development. Some children will experience separation anxiety that is outside the normal range, which may require professional intervention. It can be difficult to determine whether a child’s anxiety is normal or can be considered a disorder as many of the behaviours are the same. Consider seeking professional help if some or all of the following occurs:

• the intensity of the anxiety is outside the normal range for their age
• your child becomes agitated at the mention of being separated from you
• they withdraw from normal activities at home and at pre-school
• the separation anxiety continues regularly for four weeks or more

Your child’s school or your general practitioner are good places to start when looking for professional assistance with separation anxiety.

For a full blueprint for managing and minimising children’s anxiety check out Anxious Kids co authored with Dr. Jodi Richardson.