Principal

Body Safety and Consent

Over the last few weeks, the Wellbeing team has been managing instances of breaches of our “hands-off” policy. Some of the instances reported were not about an encounter that occurred during a fight in the yard but rather, students playing about and during the “horseplay”, causing another student much anxiety at the invasion of their personal boundaries. 

I would like to share an article written by Jayneen Sanders, an author, teacher, and mother of three who is prolific in her writing about body safety and consent. She has resources available at www.e2publishing.info.

We teach water safety and road safety to the children in our care, but too often ‘Body Safety’ is left in the ‘too-hard basket’. And yes, it is a difficult topic to discuss but our fear of this topic could be placing our children at risk. Below are 8 Body Safety and Consent Skills you can cover with your child formally and informally as your child grows. They’re applicable (in different ways) for children at all ages.

 

1. Encourage your child to talk about their feelings

From the earliest of years, encourage your child to talk about their feelings. This way they will learn from a young age how to express, manage, and understand their emotions. Allow time for them to tell you exactly how they are feeling and listen with empathy and intent. Provide a ready bank of ‘feelings’ words beyond ‘happy’ and ‘sad’. (see www.e2epublishing.info for free posters on feelings)

 

2. Talk about feeling ‘safe’ and ‘unsafe’

Children find it hard to distinguish between the two. It is important they understand what it is to feel ‘unsafe’, so if ever they are feeling this way at any time, they can talk to you or another trusted adult straightaway. Explain that our body is amazing, and when it feels ‘unsafe’ it always lets us know. For example, we might feel sick in the stomach, or our heart might beat really fast. Tell your child that these are called their Early Warning Signs. Reiterate that if your child does feel any of their Early Warning Signs, they need to tell a trusted adult straightaway. Draw a body shape with your child and label their Early Warning Signs and discuss.

 

3. Allocate time for your child to choose 3 to 5 trusted adults

Your child can tell anything to these adults, and they would be believed. These people are part of their Safety Network. One should not be a family member and all should be easily accessible by your child. For younger children, draw a large outline of a hand and have your child draw a picture of each person on their Safety Network. Add labels and phone numbers. Note: ensure you talk to these adults and let them know your child has chosen them and it is an honour.

 

4. Explain to your child that everyone has a body boundary

A body boundary is an invisible space around their body. No one should come inside their body boundary without them saying it’s okay (consent). Your child has the right to say ‘No’ to kisses and hugs if they want to. They can always give a hi-five or blow a kiss instead. Have your child outline their body boundary.

 

5. Teach your child to respect another person’s body boundary also, and that they need to ask for consent before entering it

That means, for example, if they want to hold another child’s hand, they need to ask permission. And if that child says ‘No’, they need to respect and accept that child’s wishes. Explain also that just because a person may say ‘Yes’ to handholding or a hug, consent can be withdrawn at any time.

 

6. Have your child practise the empowering ‘pirate stance’

The ‘pirate stance’ is, hands on hips, legs slightly apart, shoulders thrown back and head held high. This is a very empowering stance and should be practised regularly. Once in the stance, your child can also practise saying ‘No’ or ‘Stop! I don’t like that!’ Both these phrases are useful in bullying situations and also if anyone does try to touch their private parts. If your child can do this at 4 or 5 years old, then there is a good chance they will be able to do this at 13 or 14, and into adulthood.

 

7. From day one, make sure your child knows the difference between public and private

Ensure your child knows that their private parts (including the mouth) are private. Explain that private means ‘just for you’. Tell your child that if anyone touches their private parts, asks them to touch their private parts or shows them pictures of private parts, they need to tell a trusted adult straightaway. They also have the right to say ‘No!’ or ‘Stop’ before alerting an adult on their Safety Network. At this point, talk about ‘public’ and ‘private’ places, for example, the kitchen is a public space, but the bathroom is a private space. 

 

8. Talk about the difference between secrets and surprises

Secrets can be asked to be kept indefinitely, whereas surprises will always be told and are only kept for a short time. Discourage the keeping of secrets in your family. Explain that your family has ‘happy surprises’ instead of secrets because happy surprises will always be told. Explain that if someone does ask them to keep a secret, they should tell that person that they don’t keep secrets. Reinforce that if someone does ask your child to keep a secret that makes them feel unsafe or uncomfortable, they must tell an adult on their Safety Network straightaway!

 

In closing

In a perfect world, our kids would be safe. Full stop. End of story. But we know it’s not a perfect world. We need to have the conversations. We must talk. These ideas will help.

Middle and Senior School Wellbeing Personnel 2024

I previously advised our community about the additional resourcing to pastoral care and wellbeing in 2024.

After an extensive recruitment process, we had many applications from very talented educators. I am delighted to announce that our new Director of the Middle School is one of our talented educators: Alexandros Sinadinos.

Mr Sinadinos is currently the Head of PDHPE (5-12) and was the Acting Director of Wellbeing in Term 2 this year. He has had extensive experience in curriculum and wellbeing holding the positions of PDHPE Coordinator (Marist Kogarah, 5 years), PDHPE Network Advisor (3.5 years) and Head of House (Champagnat College Pagewood, 4 years).

He has a Bachelor of Arts in Human Movement Studies and Bachelor of Teaching in Secondary Education (PDHPE) from the University of Technology. Mr Sinadinos followed up his undergraduate studies by obtaining a Graduate Certificate in Religious Education (ACU) and is currently studying for a Masters in Educational Leadership (UNSW).

Mr Sinadinos’ experience in curriculum, wellbeing, and leading professional learning for educators, will offer our Middle School staff and students a leader who will give great support and vision.

Our new Wellbeing Personnel for 2024 are as follows:

ArtExpress 2023/2024 

I have previously advised the community via social media posts about four of our Year 12 students being nominated for the ArtExpress Exhibition: Nicholas Migliorino, Wil Symons, Harry Robinson, Max van der Meer. 

I am delighted to report that two of these boys have now been selected as part of the 2023 HSC Showcase season. 

• Wil Symons: John Doe in the Ballad of a Dead Man (Virtual Exhibition VX) 
• Harry Robinson: Historically (in)accurate (Ngununggula, Southern Highlands Regional Gallery). 

This is an incredible achievement and a testament to the strength of our Visual Arts Faculty and the relationship they have with their students. From the 8660 students who submitted Bodies of Work in 2023, only a small percentage of student artworks were nominated for consideration. The nominated artworks were truly impressive, and we can be proud of their achievements.  

Acceptance into NIDA 

Harry Robinson has also been accepted into NIDA for design for performance. Not only do they only take eight students from the over 2,000 who apply but they very rarely take students straight out of Year 12. He is ecstatic as is Ms Rebecca Duff and Mrs Adriana Karanfilovski. We are proud of our achievements in the Creative and Performing Arts, the results of which are the result of a strong subject selection program, excellent teaching and the prioritisation of this area of the College in our strategic planning.  

Staff News

• We were delighted to hear this week that our Receptionist, Mrs Michelle Barr, has safely delivered a baby boy, Zavier. 
• This week, two staff members finish up their time with St Patrick’s College. Firstly, Hannah Smith (Mathematics teacher) is leaving us to join the staff of a local girls’ school. As a parent and a staff member, we thank her for her contribution to the education of the boys and for her commitment to working with our students on social justice initiatives that she is passionate about.

Also, Mr Brian McCarthy (Head of Football Development) ends his contract period with us and will be travelling shortly thereafter. Mr McCarthy is one of the most knowledgeable people I have ever met in the sport of Football. His analysis is forensic, his passion for the game infectious and he has assisted us to strengthen our training and development program. We wish him well for the future.

Dr Vittoria Lavorato

Principal

SPC boys can do anything! 

**except divide by zero