EMPOWERING STUDENT WELLNESS

Love and Words

By Matt Edwards (Secondary Chaplain) 

Love. One of the greatest narratives that we see being used to drive the world we live in today. There can be overwhelming voices that tell us how to use it, so let’s consider what it looks like to love our kids, together. 

Kids need love, so much so that I feel silly writing this. But even when they become adults, the still need to be loved. It is not something for them to be weaned from. As they get older, the picture of what it means to love a child changes. I long for the day when I don’t have to wipe my sons’ bottom. But I do it now because I love him. Though my vision, is that he will do it himself one day!

So, what am I actually getting at? It has been suggested that there are 5 ways that we can show love to our kids.[1] One of them is by using words of affirmation. 

This morning my son watched the rubbish truck pick up our bin. His response? “That’s amazing!” Clearly he has heard that said before. But what about it was amazing? Targeted language hits closer to home than generic superlatives. I recall my first job out of school. One of my managers, referencing my work ethic, said that I could do anything I put my mind to. Now, I don’t actually agree with his statement. But it has stuck with me ever since. And I’m not even a ‘words of affirmation guy’! 

Considering the opposite side of this, it is common knowledge that many kids who find themselves in the foster care system have received many negative words spoken to them. To the degree that some say it takes 10 positive words or statements to counteract 1 negative one. All of this is to say, that words are powerful. 

Here are four ways to use our words to show love to our kids. Through praise, compliments, encouragement and affection.

The fact of the matter, is that when a person knows that they have a place in which they belong amongst people, which is supportive and caring, this gives them a place to rest. A place to come back to. A place to call home.

It will only be a benefit to the mental health of our kids if they know, feel and see that they are loved. Sometimes it just takes a bit of time figuring out how to do that best!

[1] Gary Chapman, The 5 Love Languages of Children, 2012

For further reading on this topic, check out the following links:

https://bhcs.vic.schooltv.me/newsletter-external-resource/remember-say-thank-you-laura-trice

https://bhcs.vic.schooltv.me/newsletter-external-resource/building-strong-and-positive-relationship-emerging-minds-families (The spotify link works).

https://www.health.com/love-languages-7104183

WELLBEING RESOURCES

We know that it can sometimes be hard to find the necessary resources in relation to mental health, bullying and family violence, especially when things are tough. For this reason, the School has a small webpage with links related to health and wellbeing resources. This can be found on the School's website under Other Resources or can be found here.