Principal's Message

Dear Parents,

There is a saying that, “The donkey that brings you to the door is not the means whereby you enter the house.” Author Unknown. There are endless interpretations of this saying but if it is applied to our children, it could reflect the fact that, because we bought a desk for our children to use, it does not mean that each night they will go to it and do their homework; likewise, because we have sent our children to a “good” school, does not necessarily mean that they will be good students.  

It is our children’s sense of self that will influence the manner in which they will respond to whatever we provide for them. In fact, it is that sense of self by which they will deal with all of life’s tasks and challenges. Our children will develop a self-concept primarily through the way in which they understand what their parents, teachers and peers reflect back to them. This is why we, as parents, need to be thoughtful about how we might influence their way of thinking and so their beliefs, their approach to life, their attitude about themselves and about their abilities.

As parents, we are fully aware that the beliefs that young people get into their heads, become the rules that control their actions for good or for not-so-good. Our society frequently reports to us, that the difficulties that people experience throughout their lives, are closely connected with the beliefs they hold about themselves and their place in the world in which they live.

When helping to shape our children’s beliefs, we need to be careful that our own “good intentions” don’t, in fact, make our children feel anxious or limited. To tell our children that they are smart or gifted or talented may not be helpful to them at all. They might like to hear this but then, they might become anxious about failure: “What if I put a lot of effort into something and I fail; this might prove that I am not as smart or gifted or talented as my parents believe me to be.” There could be a touch of “donkey” and “house” in this.

If, when helping to shape our children’s beliefs, we concentrated on our children’s efforts rather than their ability, our praise might help them to value themselves for the effort they put towards achieving the goal itself. We can help them experience a sense of worth through the effort, the learning and the growth rather than the sense of worth being attached to the result. We help develop a belief that, “the harder I work, the smarter I get” and avoid a belief that, “because I am smart, I don’t have to work hard”.

As we shape our children’s self-belief, we hopefully are preparing our children to be self-assured, fully functioning individuals who feel capable of pursuing their hopes and ambitions, whilst also being people who are caring, loving and lovable.

Lord, thank heavens Your Spirit is strong within me when I have my “parenting moments”, when I am confused, angry or frustrated. Thank You for the calmness that comes to me when I ask for Your guidance and inspiration. Thank You for the gift of my children – mostly.

Amen.

God Bless 

Leonie Burfield

Principal