Newport Lakes Primary School

Health & Wellbeing @ NLPS

Big Feelings, Brave Responses 

Helping Children Understand and Manage Their Emotions

 

The notes below were taken from Elaine O’Connor’s presentation to Year 2 parents/carers around ‘Understanding and Managing Emotions’

At Newport Lakes Primary School, we know that children experience big feelings, from joy, excitement, anger, sadness, frustration, and everything in between. Helping them to manage these emotions in healthy ways is one of the most important skills they can learn, setting them up for success in school, friendships, and life.

 

Recently, Elaine O’Connor from Pave Your Way Therapy presented Big Feelings, Brave Responses, a workshop for the grade 2 families on supporting children’s emotional development as they prepare to transition to Grade 3. Elaine is both a parent and an Occupational and Play Therapist, who brought warmth, practical strategies, and a deep understanding of how children learn to regulate their emotions.

 

Sturdy Parenting: Boundaries with Compassion

Elaine shared the concept of ‘sturdy parenting’, influenced by Dr. Becky Kennedy. Sturdy parents stay calm, consistent, and connected, even when children are upset.

  • Validate feelings while holding firm limits.
  • Stay connected, even through meltdowns.
  • “Your child doesn’t need you to be perfect. They need you to be sturdy.” – Dr. Becky Kennedy

 

The A.C.T. Method for Boundaries

  • Acknowledge the feeling: “I know it’s hard to stop watching.”
  • Communicate the limit: “It’s time to turn the TV off.”
  • Target an acceptable alternative: “You can choose a story or draw instead.”

Boundaries send an important message: all feelings are welcome, but not all behaviours are allowed.

 

Boundaries: Firm, Fair and Compassionate

Children thrive when limits are clear, consistent, and kind. Boundaries are not about being harsh or controlling, they are about creating safety, trust, and emotional growth.

  • Validate + Hold Limits: Acknowledge your child’s feelings while staying firm.
  • Connect Before Correct: Discipline should feel safe and supportive, not punishing.
  • Firm, Fair, Compassionate: Not harsh or passive, but steady and responsive.

Boundaries aren’t just requests, they are clear expectations with compassionate follow-through.

 

💡 Example: Instead of saying, “I told you only one TV show, now I need the remote,” try: “I know it’s hard to stop watching. You can turn the TV off now, or I’ll do it when I get there.” If they refuse: “You’ve chosen not to turn it off, so I’ll help by turning it off for you.” Then validate: “I know it’s frustrating when fun things end.”

 

Protecting or Preparing?

Sometimes as parents we need to ask: Am I protecting my child, or preparing them? True resilience grows when children learn to sit with discomfort, while knowing they are safe and supported. As Brené Brown reminds us: “We can choose courage, or we can choose comfort, but we can’t have both. Not at the same time.”

 

By holding space for uncomfortable moments, whether it’s tears, frustration, or anxiety, we help children develop the inner strength to navigate challenges with confidence.

 

Why Boundaries Matter: 

Clear boundaries send this powerful message: “You are safe. Your feelings make sense. And I will help you manage them without shaming or disconnecting from you.” Consistency between home and school teaches children that emotions are safe, and that there are respectful, safe ways to act on them. Over time, this builds:

  • Emotional regulation
  • Trust and connection
  • Resilience and self-control

 

As children grow, this consistency becomes even more important during transitions, when expectations rise and challenges increase.

 

Sitting With Discomfort

Boundaries also prepare children for life’s ups and downs. We cannot protect them from every disappointment, but we can guide them through it. True growth comes from experiencing discomfort while feeling supported. This isn’t about avoiding tears or tantrums, it’s about helping children strengthen their ‘emotional muscles’, so that they can manage life’s challenges with confidence.

 

✨ Boundaries, held with love, are not barriers; they are bridges to resilience, trust, and lifelong wellbeing.

 

At home and at school, our shared role is to raise children who are responsible, respectful, and resilient. With patience, play, routines, and sturdy parenting, we can help children learn that their feelings are safe, and that they have the tools to manage them.

Many thanks to Elaine for sharing her insights and expertise with us. 

 

'Raising Body Bright Children' Webinar 

  • What? Raising Body Bright Children webinar
  • When? Monday 1st September 2025 from 7pm-8.15pm (AEST)
  • Where? Online via zoom (time limited recording available)
  • Cost: $15 per attendee

 

Complementing the Body Bright school program, ‘Raising Body Bright Children’ explores the key risk and protective factors that influence children’s body image, and provides practical tips for what families can be doing at home to promote a positive body image and a healthy relationship with eating and physical activity. This session explores what body image is and why it’s important, key influences on children’s body image through the lens of the Butterfly Body Bright 6 themes, practical strategies for families to implement, and tips for empowering children to feel BRIGHT in their body.

 

NOTE: This session is not designed for children to attend.

Find out more and register - HERE