College Chaplain
Rev. Peter Landry
Social Anxiety… *Slowly Backs Away*
I wanted to reflect on something that impacts all of us – yes, all of us – to varying degrees: social anxiety.
Have you ever walked into a room full of people and suddenly wished for a socially acceptable excuse to turn around and run? Ever replayed something you said in a social interaction long after it’s over, cringing at every syllable? Or spent so much energy managing your expression, posture, or stray lunch crumbs that you completely missed someone’s name – or worse, failed to correct a mispronunciation of your own?
If you answered “yes” to any (or all) of these, you’re not alone. So has everyone else.
In large communities like ours, social anxiety is almost inevitable. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. It’s also not a personal failing. For some, it’s a mild discomfort; for others, like myself, it can feel genuinely debilitating. And when left unacknowledged, it can get in the way of the meaningful connections that help us thrive as people. So, in the spirit of honest reflection and gentle growth, I wanted to share a few strategies that have helped me become (slightly) more comfortable navigating these moments.
1. Everyone Feels It
It’s worth remembering you’re not the only one. During big events, everyone is feeling a little socially wobbly. That’s why it’s helpful and kind to develop simple tools for these situations, both for yourself and for others.
2. Have a Game Plan
Having a plan can help you feel less overwhelmed. Some things that work for me:
Arrive with a friend and on time, so you don’t walk into a full room alone.
Come armed with a few safe small-talk starters like: “How was your weekend/day?”, “Seen any good shows or movies lately?”, or even “What do you reckon’s for lunch today?”
Set mini-goals that make you slightly uncomfortable: for example, “I’ll chat to two people I don’t know well, “or “I’ll stay for 30 minutes, then step out for a 5-minute breather.”
Prepare for anxious moments: bring a grounding item (a ring, a pen), practice calming breaths, or look for a small way to be helpful – this gives you purpose and focus.
3. Reflect on the W’s, and Be Kind with the L’s
After a social event, it’s easy to replay everything you said or didn’t say.
Instead:
Celebrate the wins: “I showed up,” “I spoke to someone new,” “I stayed longer than I thought I would.”
Note the lessons: If something felt off, turn it into a goal for next time – then let it go. Chances are, you noticed it far more than anyone else.
And if you get stuck: Honestly, ChatGPT can be a social game changer.
It's important to remember that sometimes the most valuable growth is personal: building the confidence and presence to connect with the people around us.
Here’s to a term of brave conversations, imperfect progress, and quiet victories!