Nurturing Friendships
A message from the Mental Health and Wellbeing Leader
Making and keeping friends is a common wish for all children, but it can also be very challenging at times, depending on their level of emotional maturity. Parents, teachers, and other respected adults can support children through these friendship ‘hurdles’.
How would you describe a friend to a child? How about this? Friends are:
- Kind to you
- People you feel safe with – they do not hurt you physically, verbally, or emotionally
- People with whom you can have fun and laugh with
- Caring
- Inclusive – they include you in games and other activities
- Consistent – Whilst friends do not have to play with each other every single day, friends are people who are consistently nice to you. A person who is nice to you one day, then mean and ignores you another day is NOT a friend.
To gauge your child’s understanding of friendship, ask them the following True or False questions and then discuss them openly:
Good friends always like the same things as you – False
Friends can also have different interests, which helps you learn about other things.
It’s OK for friends to disagree – True
All friendships can experience some ups and downs. What is important is how you manage the conflicts.
It’s OK for a friend to play with someone else – True
It is healthy for children to play with all different peers. Friends are not possessions and should not be “rostered” on certain days.
You don’t have to be friends with everyone, but it is important to be kind to everyone – True
Humans do not get along with everyone, but it does not give anyone the right to be nasty or bully others.
Here are some simple steps to share with your child to help them make new friends:
- Say Hello – so simple, yet children often forget to do this.
- Smile – smiles are infectious!
- Ask the other person a question e.g. Hey do you like Minecraft?, What is your favourite footy team?, Would you like to play in the sandpit with me?
- Show that you are interested in the other person e.g. You are really good at sport. I see you know a lot about bugs.
- Be Kind – remind your child to be kind to others – always.
- Share – If your child has brought their football to school, they may offer to share in a game of footy with another child.
- Find a common interest – Many friendships begin through liking the same things e.g. Karate, Girl Guides, an interest in horses
- Organise playdates—If you see friendships blossoming, organise some playdates. This provides an opportunity for your child to connect with another child. Also, remember that many children need that one-on-one time to really get to know each other.
If you are concerned about your child's friendships, please speak to the classroom teacher or contact me via phone, email, or in person.
I will leave you with this thought, which applies to adults and children alike:
“If you want a friend, you need to be a friend.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
Katrina Victor-Gordon
Mental Health and Wellbeing Leader (Monday - Wednesday)
Grade 1/2 Teacher (Thursday- Friday)
SWPBS Team Leader