Counsellor's Corner
Mrs Ebony Kriedemann
How to regulate emotions
One of the most rewarding parts of my role as the School Counsellor is supporting students as they build tools they can use both inside and outside the classroom. In sessions, I draw from a range of approaches, but one that many students find particularly helpful comes from Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT).
DBT is a therapy model originally designed to help people manage strong emotions, but many of its strategies are simple, practical, and highly relevant for day-to-day life. I often tell students that while we can’t always control what life throws our way, we can regulate our responses.
Skills we explore together include:
Mindfulness: pausing to notice what’s happening in the present moment, rather than getting swept up in worries about the past or future.
Distress Tolerance: strategies to ride out big emotions without making a situation worse—like grounding exercises or paced breathing.
Emotional Regulation: understanding the link between thoughts, feelings, and actions, and making small choices that support wellbeing.
Interpersonal Effectiveness: learning how to communicate needs and set boundaries respectfully, which aids friendships and reduces misunderstandings.
A Skill to Try at Home: “STOP”
One DBT strategy that students often find useful is called STOP. It’s a simple way to slow down in a heated moment and choose a helpful response instead of reacting on autopilot.
S – Stop: Pause what you’re doing. Don’t act on impulse.
T – Take a breath: Breathe deeply to ground yourself.
O – Observe: Notice what you’re thinking, feeling and what is going on around you.
P – Proceed mindfully: Choose the next step that will help the situation, not make it worse.
This skill is especially handy when emotions run high, whether that’s in the middle of an argument, when facing a stressful exam, or even just when a day feels overwhelming.
What I love about these skills is that they aren’t just “therapy tools”, they’re life skills. A breathing exercise before a big test, practising mindfulness while walking to class, or using the STOP skill during a conflict are all ways students can take what we talk about in sessions and put it into practice straight away.
My hope is that students come to see emotional regulation not as something you either have or don’t, but as a set of skills anyone can learn and strengthen over time.
If you’d like to know more about these approaches or how to support your child with them at home, please don’t hesitate to reach out. Pop by my office on the ground floor of 50 William Street, I’d love to see you.
Mrs Ebony Kriedemann
School Counsellor