Mental Health & Wellbeing Students/Parents/Carers Support 

Mental Health and Wellbeing Update

 Nikki Olsen 

This week’s focus is on Social Anxiety in Children and Teens.

Social anxiety can make everyday situations such as meeting new people, speaking in front of a group, joining activities, or attending social events feel overwhelming for some children and young people. Understanding the signs of social anxiety can help parents support their child to build confidence and develop coping strategies over time.

Is It Shyness or Social Anxiety?

Shyness is common and many children gradually become more comfortable in social situations as they grow older. Social anxiety, however, involves intense fear and worry about social situations and concerns about being judged, embarrassed, or making mistakes.

A child's temperament and personality can play a role:

• Some young people naturally cope well with meeting new people, while others find it more difficult.
• Some enjoy being the centre of attention, while others feel uncomfortable when attention is focused on them.

• Social anxiety can interfere with friendships, learning, extracurricular activities, and everyday life.

   

Situations That Can Trigger Social Anxiety

Every child is different. A situation that causes anxiety for one child may not affect another.

Some situations that children with social anxiety may find distressing include:

• Giving a presentation in front of the class
• Meeting someone new
• Going to a party where they do not know many people
• Being the centre of attention
• Talking to someone in authority, such as a teacher
• Asking for a favour or asking for help
• Answering questions in class

• Joining a new group or activity

   

Social Anxiety Affects the Body, Mind and Behaviour

The fear underlying social anxiety is often linked to worries about something going wrong or being judged by others.

A child may think:

"I might say something silly and people will stop liking me."

These worries can lead to a range of symptoms.

Physical Symptoms

• Racing heartbeat
• Muscle tension
• Sweating
• Sore stomach

• Nausea

   

Psychological Symptoms

• Difficulty concentrating
• Negative thoughts about being judged by others
• Mental blanks or not knowing what to say

• A strong urge to escape the situation

   

Behavioural Symptoms

• Avoiding certain places or situations
• Refusing to give presentations
• Staying quiet in social situations

• Avoiding success or achievement so they do not stand out

   

Unhelpful Ways of Coping with Social Anxiety

When children feel unable to cope with feared social situations, they may develop coping strategies that provide short-term relief but can make anxiety worse over time.

For example:

• Avoiding social situations
• Letting others speak for them
• Refusing opportunities that involve attention or participation

• Avoiding success so they do not stand out or attract attention

   

While avoidance may reduce anxiety in the short term, it can strengthen anxiety in the long term.

What Can You Do to Help?

The first step is tuning into your child and noticing whether they seem particularly anxious about social situations. Be attentive to how this affects them and provide support in a calm, encouraging way.

Encourage Gradual Exposure

Help your child practise being in social situations. Start with easier situations and gradually work towards more challenging ones. Avoiding feared situations can increase anxiety, whereas practising them can build confidence.

Role-Play Difficult Situations

If your child needs to have a difficult conversation, introduce themselves to someone new, or ask for help, practise with them beforehand.

Teach Relaxation Strategies

Breathing exercises, mindfulness, meditation, and muscle relaxation can help children manage anxious feelings.

Teach Assertive Communication

Help your child learn to:

• Look at the speaker.
• Stand or sit with confident body language.
• Use a calm, clear voice.
• Use respectful words.

Discuss the difference between being assertive, passive, and aggressive.

Focus on Strengths

Give your child positive feedback. Notice their efforts, point out their strengths, and remind them that they are valued and loved.

Keep Setbacks in Perspective

Social situations do not always go as planned. Help your child understand that mistakes, awkward moments, and disappointments are a normal part of learning and growing.

Acknowledge Feelings While Encouraging Persistence

Give your child space to feel upset or disappointed when things are difficult, while also encouraging them to keep trying rather than giving up or avoiding situations.

Model Confidence and Problem-Solving

Children learn from watching the adults around them. Show them how you manage challenges, cope with mistakes, and approach new situations.

Remember, confidence grows through practice. Each small step your child takes helps build their ability to cope with anxiety and participate more comfortably in social situations.

If social anxiety is significantly impacting your child's wellbeing, friendships, learning, or participation in everyday activities, consider speaking with your GP, school wellbeing staff, or a mental health professional for additional support.

This article is from Kids helpline 

Learn More

What Is Social Anxiety? When fear of how you appear gets in the way of functioning

Learn more about:

How is social anxiety different from being shy?

What are children and teenagers with social anxiety worried about?

When should families seek additional support?

Useful Supports for Families

▶️Smiling Mind – free mindfulness and breathing activities for children

▶️Raising Children Network – evidence-based parenting information. 

▶️Emerging Minds – resources focused on children’s mental health

▶️Beyond Blue and

▶️Headspace – mental health information and support.

If you have any concerns regarding your child’s wellbeing, please feel free to reach out. Working together collaboratively between home and school is one of the strongest protective factors for children’s mental health and wellbeing.

Nikki