Wellbeing 

Raising them Resilient!

Emotionally strong and resilient children have parents who refuse to do these 7 things…

Overprotect: They allow their children to make mistakes and learn from them. Life’s little challenges are seen as opportunities to grow! They are allowed to solve small problems with guidance, such as sibling or friend scrabbles. Provide them with strategies of when and who to ask for help from. Tears will be shed, but it is worth it to teach them. Protecting your children from hardships is impossible, so teach them how to get through those hard times.

Rescue to Quickly: They don’t rush to save their children from every hardship. Instead they teach them to face challenges and find solutions. Parents need to teach their children to be self-sufficient critical thinkers. These are the “survival skills” needed in our current world. Fighting their battles for them (think helicopter and lawn mower parents) does the exact opposite. It tells the child that they are not capable. Children need to make decisions, make mistakes, experience consequences, and learn from them. Small failures teach far more than scaffolded success ever will!

Dismiss Feelings: They acknowledge their child’s emotions, teaching them to understand and express their feelings in a healthy way. For example, everyone feels anxious at times in his or her life. Everyone grapples with self-doubt. But it is how we choose to respond to these feelings that ultimately shapes and influences our little one’s future.“I understand you're upset/ feeling scared, but it’s okay to …”, is probably one of the most challenging sentences for a parent to say.

Give Unrealistic Praise: Instead of non stop praise, they provide constructive feedback. When praise is based on effort, rather than outcome it is very self motivating and encourages children to keep going with tasks or activities that may challenge them. The right kind of praise, more importantly, encourages children to appreciate their own strengths, can help them feel more confident to take on new challenges and to become resilient enough to cope with any setbacks.

Prevent Risk Taking: They encourage safe and sensible risk-taking which fosters independence and courage. Taking risks in a safe environment builds confidence and teaches valuable life skills, including cognitive, physical and social emotional skills. Independence, risk-assessment, and positive stress are just a few of the skills children develop during risky play opportunities. It allows opportunities on how to manage risk and keep themselves safe.

Set a Bad Example: They model the behaviour they want to see, understanding that actions often speak louder than words. Children see more than we think and learn from how we interact with the world around us. Remember someone is always watching!

Shield From Responsibility: They assign age-appropriate jobs and responsibilities, helping their children understand the value of hard work and commitment. Think about what jobs you have with your family that could be included in your child’s daily routine, such as letting their child walk into their classroom independently, or packing and unpacking their bags by themselves.

Donna