Deputy Principal

There is no "I" in TEAM

I have often heard that there is no “I” in TEAM, when people are talking about sporting teams. The same applies for the SPC community. We are a team, we are a collective of individuals - staff, students, and parents. We need to work together to ensure that the team is always working for better outcomes for all and that as individuals we are no more important than someone else in our community.

I must say I have been disappointed coming back this term in several areas where I believe a small minority of parents have let the community down. Prior to each term commencing I send a letter that clearly outlines the expectations we have here at the College. Constantly I am told by parents that one of the major reasons that they send their children to the College is because of our high standards. The expectations that I set out each term in this letter include grooming and school drop off/pick up arrangements.

Last week we had to send some students home and give others detention for poor haircuts on their return to the College. Some parents have thanked the Year Coordinators for giving their son a detention - telling their sons they needed to get a haircut in accordance with the Colleges expectations but defying their parents all the same. 

We have had parents last week continue to ignore the correct procedure for drop off/pick up, telling their sons to wait in Merley Road or other surrounding streets. This is intentionally breaking the College rules and shows no regard for the community. I have had parents report that other parents have been abusive at Kiss and Ride as well as being rude to each other at Parent/Teacher Interviews at the end of last term because of interviews running late.

At some point I need parents to call each other out respectfully and remind each other that we are all members of the same community, and we should be working together. Parents need to be role models for their sons and teach their sons that they need to follow the expectations of the College which are non-negotiable. All parents sign a contract when they enrol their sons which clearly states they will abide by the rules of the College. Our students do not sign this contract, just as I did not when I was at school. Our students are told which school they are going to, that is what parenting is about. 

Parenting is not easy. My experience as an educator of young men for over 25 years tells me that boys need boundaries. They thrive when they know that there are clear boundaries in place. Our children need parents, not friends. As parents we need to set clear boundaries for our children. I realise that this is not easy but once we stop dropping our own expectations our children notice this. A short-term gain in avoiding an argument can often lead to long term harm as our children will try and push boundaries further and further.

My wife and I are not immune to the struggles of parenting. Over the June long weekend, our 17-year-old son decided to take himself off to the barber to get a haircut. When we arrived home from dinner and saw his haircut, we were both upset that he had decided to get a haircut that was clearly not in line with the expectations of the school that he goes to. As parents we took him to a barber the next day to get the hair cut fixed, that would comply with his school’s rules. He did not want to go; we told him he did not have a choice if he wanted to go back to his school. As we pointed out to him, when he decides to get a haircut that is outside the school’s expectations, not only is it a poor reflection on himself, but it is a poor reflection on us as parents and it also starts a negative conversation for him if he was to return to school with a poor haircut. 

So, can I ask all our parents to work with us. We are not a school where you can pick and choose the things that you decide that you want. At St Patrick’s College, we offer a lot, and we expect a lot from our students and families, just as you, as parents, expect a lot from us. Some parents think it is okay to have high expectations of us, yet they fail to parent their sons in a way that meets our expectations.

The last thing we want as educators is the need to have a negative conversation with your sons about their grooming or where they have been dropped off at school. Our Year Coordinators and staff would rather concentrate on the pastoral care and teaching and learning of your sons. For us to do that, we all need to work together. Parental responsibilities belong with parents and not the College. I need all parents, not just most parents, to parent their sons so we can move forward as a community.

Adrian Byrne

Deputy Principal