Happy Families

Insights Articles

Insights articles for this term for our school community are:

• Nature is fuel for the soul
• What 40 years of research says kids actually need
• Don't burn the chicken
• Choose action
• The mind is a great storyteller
• How to know if screens are a problem

A copy of the articles for this term are accessible from the School Office. 

Webinar:  Boys – Cultivating confidence and character 

Boys:  Building Strong Young Men from the Inside Out

Wednesday 17 June | 7pm AEST

He’s disappearing. Behind the closed door, lost in screens, making choices that keep you up at night. He’s navigating a world designed to confuse him – algorithms designed to addict him – a world parents don’t understand and can’t break into. The headlines scream crisis. They warn us that boys are in deep trouble… and it’s getting worse.

But it doesn’t have to be like this.

Dr Justin Coulson has a different story to tell. In Boys, Coulson reveals what decades of research suggests: when boys get what they actually need, they thrive. Not through force or fixing, but through connection, meaningful challenge, and someone who refuses to give up on them.

This presentation hands you the ‘Playbook’. It cuts through the noise with practical, research-backed strategies for the battles you’re fighting right now. Gaming. Pornography. Self-control. Friendships. School motivation. How to discipline without destroying trust. How to stay close when he’s pushing away.

But beneath the tactics lies something more powerful: a vision of masculinity worth fighting for. Boys who help others feel safer and stronger. Who create surplus value. Who become not just good men, but the best version of themselves. Your son already has everything he needs to get there.

The EHPS community have access to this webinar at no charge. Details to register for this webinar has been published in your Compass News Feed. 

Boys

Let's talk about discipline, boundaries, and what happens when our boys cross the line.

Whether you are dealing with a son stuck in a self-defeating spiral of "I never do anything right," or an older teen making genuinely bad choices like lying and stealing, punitive punishments usually just breed resentment and secrecy. Today, we are shifting the paradigm. We are moving from policing our boys to partnering with them.

Today's Questions:

Melanie: "Discipline... always seems to end in self defeat. 'I never do anything right'."

Susan: "My son lies frequently, has taken money... He is eighteen and not a 'bad' person."

Dr Justin Coulson's Answer:

Melanie, when a boy says, "I never do anything right," that is a desperate cry for reassurance and connection. He feels like a constant disappointment. But the problem is that as soon as you offer reassurance, it feels empty. It's never enough. 

Instead, start the conversation with validation and exploration. "You never do anything right huh? Sometimes it probably feels that way doesn't it? Especially when I'm on you case again." Then let it sit. Give him space. He'll work through it. Then we can start to create a resilient mindset and discipline better.

Susan, your son's behavior at 18 is crossing serious lines, but you are right—he isn't a "bad" person, he is a boy making very bad choices. And yep, discipline is needed.

Discipline literally means "to teach and to guide," not to punish. Punitive consequences often just breed resentment and secrecy. We must set firm, immovable boundaries (especially regarding theft, Susan), but we deliver them with compassion. "I love you too much to let you treat people this way. We have a problem, how are we going to fix it?" Move from policing them to partnering with them to solve the problem.

The process I've developed over the past two decades is called "The Three Es of Effective Discipline". Here's how it works: Explore what's going on. "We seem to be having this issue a lot and it's creating tension. What's actually the challenge here?" Explain your expectation: "Trust is the glue here. If we can work together and trust each other, we can solve every problem." Then empower your son: "What do you see as the best way forward?"

Careful conversations where our son feels seen and heard (and accepted), understands our expectations, and has a voice in finding solutions to the challenges and problems we're facing are always the most effective discipline and give us the best results. 

Make sure you haven't missed the "Value Stack" Happy Families have built for you. The goal is to support you long before the physical book hits your doorstep. When you pre-order Boys at 27% off, you also get:

• The Ask Me Anything Ticket ($49 value)
• The Emergency Audio Guide ($29 value)
• The Book Club Kit ($25 value)
• Entry into the Golden Ticket Draw (Launch Day, 16 June!)

Our school is subscribed to the Happy Families School Membership (replacing the Parenting Ideas membership)! Owned and run by Dr Justin Coulson, one of Australia’s leading parenting experts, the membership offers a wealth of parenting education and resources. Resources will be shared regularly including Insights Articles and Live Webinars, Q&As with Dr Justin, and other resources.