Counsellors Corner 

Effective Communicators

Do you ever find yourself listening to someone, but focusing more on what you want to say next? Maybe they're telling you about their weekend when you think: "Wow, I can't wait to tell them about what happened to me last Saturday.

Or maybe you have the opposite problem: You keep it all in. You wouldn't want to bother someone else or hurt their feelings. Maybe it's easier for you to avoid conflict by hiding your feelings when you're upset.

Most of us are guilty of these mistakes. These communication errors are such a normal part of life, that most of us don't even notice when we're guilty of them. Usually, they aren't such a big deal. We move on with the conversation and that's that. Feeling unheard can lead to resentment, frustration, and pain.

Sometimes, however, the best communication will end with the acknowledgement: "We disagree." But that's OK‐it's far better than the alternative: "I'm right, and you're wrong."

Leanne Miller

College Counsellor