Mental Health and Wellbeing

FRIENDOLOGY

What is Forgiveness?

Have you ever found it really hard to forgive someone? Maybe they’ve even apologized to you or you’ve spent time Talking-it-Out, but you still can’t seem to get over it?

Well, sometimes we feel this way because we don’t quite understand what forgiveness even means. Sometimes we get stuck because we are so focused on being right. When something feels unfair or trust & respect were broken, it’s very hard to move forward on the Friend-O-Cycle.

The Friend-O-Cycle shows us that when we talk-it-out and put our friendship fires all the way out, we can move on to forgive & forget, but what exactly is forgiveness?

So what can you do at home?

1. Parents, share a time when you forgave someone. Explain how forgiveness isn’t about condoning the other person’s actions. Ask your child: “What does forgiveness mean to you?” Have a little discussion and see if you can come up with a definition together.
2. On a blank piece of paper, write the words FORGIVE & FORGET in big letters. Say to your child, “What happens when I cover up the word FOR? What am I left with?” Use your hand and cover up the words FOR in both words.
3. Say, “Wow, look at that! When we cover up the word FOR, we are left with the words GIVE & GET!”
4. Ask your child: “When you put out a friendship fire, how do you give and get? What does that mean?” Allow your child to reflect on this idea and share some ideas.
5. Explain that forgiveness isn’t always about winning or being right. Say, “Sometimes forgiveness is about accepting your friendship as imperfect & learning from what went wrong (GIVE) to move forward & save the friendship (GET).”
6. Get your child to draw their own Friend-O-Cycle, reminding them that in order to forgive & forget, they need to talk-it-out with their friend!