From the Wellbeing Zone 🌿

When Worries Start to Stack Up

Have you ever seen a child or teenager lose it over something seemingly tiny?

Having to switch off their screen ...

Not having the “right” pencil case ...

Another child breathing in their direction …

We’ve all been there!

In the moment, their behaviour may have seemed over the top, but their anxious response may not be as excessive as you think. This is due to the very real result of something that parenting expert, Dr Justin Coulson, refers to as "worry stacking".

Over time, anxiety from minor worries and concerns can accumulate. This compounding effect results in an overwhelming sense of anxiety or stress that is more akin to an emergency. A lost school hat can quite literally feel like life or death.

By learning how to effectively manage each worry as it arises, we can keep the stack from growing too high and maintain a sense of control over their anxiety. This is essentially like hitting the "reset" button on their nervous system.

The good news is that we don't need to have all the answers. What children need most is a calm, connected adult who helps them work through their worries one step at a time.

How can we help?

Listen before you solve -

When children feel heard, their nervous system begins to settle. Resist the urge to jump straight into reassurance or problem-solving. Instead, simply listen and acknowledge how they're feeling.

Help them name the worry -

Ask questions such as:

"What's worrying you the most?"
"Can you tell me more about that?"

Putting feelings into words helps children make sense of their emotions.

Focus on one worry at a time -

When worries pile up, encourage your child to identify the biggest concern first. Breaking problems into smaller, manageable pieces makes them feel far less overwhelming.

Stay calm -

Children take their emotional cues from the adults around them. Even if their worry seems small to us, responding with empathy and calm helps them feel safe and supported.

Build confidence, not perfection -

Rather than fixing every problem, help your child think about one small step they could take. Learning that they can cope with challenges is one of the greatest gifts we can give them.

Remember…

Worry is a normal part of childhood. Our goal isn't to eliminate it, but to help children develop the confidence and resilience to manage it.

When children know they have someone who will listen without judgement, help them sort through their thoughts and remind them they don't have to carry every worry alone, those worries become much easier to manage.

Sometimes the most powerful thing we can do is simply slow down, connect, and remind our children that they are safe, supported and capable—one worry at a time. This relationship-first approach helps children build resilience and reduces the impact of worries that can otherwise begin to stack up.

To read more on this topic follow the link below to download Justin Coulson's 'A Grown Up's Guide to Worry Stacking (and how to help kids kick it!)' for free (usually $10 from the Happy Families shop!).

Kim Bedford | School Counsellor / Social Worker

Upcoming Workshops / Other Information

Anglicare Parentzone Newsletter - Parenting in the East What's On Term 3 2026

News and information on programs, services, groups and events to support parents across the Eastern Region of Melbourne. Some of the upcoming (and free!) programs for Term 3 include Tuning in to Kids, Talking Teens, Dads Matter, Emotion Focussed Parenting & the Strengthening Parents Support Program (for parents & carers of children with a disability, developmental delay or neurodivergence - including ASD, ADHD & AuDHD) -

Online Safety - ESafety Commissioner - Free Webinars for Parents and Carers

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Michelle Mitchell's 'Friendship Smart Hub'

From Michelle (about Friendship Smart Hub) - Consider this a place for the additional thoughts, deeper insights, and pieces that didn’t make it into my new book Friendship Smart, but still matter deeply to me. Some of them will be background thoughts and others will be practical tools you can use with your kids.

Here you’ll find a short series of podcast episodes, supplementary resources, blogs and upcoming resources to support you in the everyday moments at home.

You know how much I love your tweens and teens, so here you will be able to sign up to make you don’t miss out on what I have in store for them. When you have shared language this content will be even more powerful. Friendship Smart is coming to them too!

Podcasts of Interest

Pop Culture Parenting - Pop Culture Parenting — Guiding Growing Minds

Well, hello Anxiety - Podcast - Dr. Jodi Richardson

Parental as Anything - Parental As Anything with Maggie Dent and Bec Sparrow - ABC listen

The Imperfects - The Imperfects Podcast

ParentZone Pods

Podcasts for parents, carers and those who support others with their parenting. The ParentZone Teams are delighted to bring you TWELVE ParentZone Pods. Each Pod identifies and explores common issues parents bring to our parenting groups and offers strategies to try in these situations.

Podcast Series 1

Episode 1: Family Meetings

Episode 2: Dealing with Anxiety

Episode 3: Sibling Rivalry

Episode 4: Getting Children to Listen

Episode 5: How to Respond to Kids' Behaviour

Episode 6: How to Stop Yelling at your Kids

Podcast Series 2

Episode 1: Positive Discipline

Episode 2: School Refusal

Episode 3: Parenting our Teenagers

Episode 4: Meltdowns vs Tantrums

Episode 5: Couples Parenting Together

Episode 6: Dads Parenting Today

ParentZone Pods can be found on our website, Apple and via Spotify

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