The Wellbeing Page

Supporting Transitions at the Start of the Year

• Saying a quick, confident goodbye will help your children settle into the morning 
• A quick confident goodbye shows your child you have trust in the school and teachers
• Try to be cheerful, even if your child is looking upset. Children look at us to judge the safety of their surroundings. If you are excited and confident, your children will very likely start to feel safer, sooner. If their main care-givers are looking hesitant and worried, or watching from a distance for a long time, this may likely reinforce to the child that there is something to be nervous about. We know this is hard to do for parents, but putting on a brave face for your child will help them. 
• Smile and wave goodbye confidently and happily
• Explain you’ll be back at pick-up time 
• Avoid going back for one last hug if your child is finding it tricky to separate. This is not predictable for them which makes the routine harder. 

Sometimes this is hard to imagine for parents with a teary child at the school gates, but children calm down as soon as their parents leave. You can help your child by leaving quickly, as they will probably start interacting with peers and settling in once their parents are out of eyesight. 

Tips for Parents:

Tip 1: Prepare them: "When we get to your classroom this morning, I am going to give you a kiss on Level 2 when we see your teacher, and then we’ll say goodbye. Then you can go and join your friends on the mat.”

Tip 2: Manage your own emotions: Imagine you went to an unfamiliar room and your trusted people were looking anxious and hesitating before leaving you. That might make you feel the room is scary, or that you are unsafe. Managing your emotions to look as relaxed, confident and happy will help your child feel safe and confident in starting their day.

Tip 3: Acknowledge your child's feelings (but don't overindulge): “I can tell you’re finding the goodbye difficult, I feel sad saying goodbye to you too, but I'm really excited for the fun you will have today!”

Tip 4: Teach strategies to cope: “Saying goodbye is hard, but we can do it! Let's think about something exciting coming up later today. That's right, PE will be great fun! See you at 3:30pm" 

Tip 5: Try to keep to routine: Keeping a familiar routine in the morning will help your child feel more confident as they will know what is coming up.

Tip 6: Positive reinforcement: This does not mean rewards or bribery… It is encouragement in the form of “You were nervous, but you used your strategies and managed to say goodbye calmly today, and had a wonderful morning playing with your friends”.