Principal's News

Social media and young people

Social media is here to stay; its allure is not abating and it is central in the lives of young people. It is no use (and in fact counterproductive) to mutter “in our day we used to talk” to your teen, who will see this as judgemental and proof that you are out of touch in relation to what matters to them.

It is important though to discuss, guide and support young people in their use of social media; especially at the time they first start wanting or having a mobile phone, as it can set up the ground rules for use, open up discussions and also promote the idea that unfettered use and access is not the norm in your household.

Some tips and tricks:

Have conversations with your daughter about the possibility of mental health issues arising along with an increased use of social media. If social media is used a lot, with teens putting up content and checking in for feedback a lot, the research tells us that this can increase the risk of becoming hypersensitive to social feedback and this can cause lasting and harmful effects on the individual’s mental health.
Emphasise to your daughter that she should seek help, or encourage her friends to, when needed and for her to recognise warning signs of when she or anyone else is in distress and needs help from a trusted adult or mental health professional.
Talk to your daughter about her use of social media; who is she following and why? How does she feel when she uses social media? Does it help or hurt her self-esteem? Is it helping her to feel good about herself? Close to her friends? Empowered and inspired? Which sites help her with this? Or are the sites and people she follows contributing to her feeling bad about herself? Lonely and disconnected? Ostracised? Is she comparing herself unfavourably to others? Feeling self-conscious and body aware? How can she moderate her own use, choice of sites and people she follows, so that it has a more positive impact?
Establish times when your daughter can use social media and times when she cannot and actively seek to encourage real life social situations. An example might be no phones during homework, at dinner, when cleaning up after dinner, while watching a family movie or show, in the car if you are talking, or from a certain time in the “winding down” for sleep routine each evening.
If a teen is experiencing social media distress, some real-life social skills are really important and these can only be developed through practice; encourage your daughters’ friends to come over and encourage activity away from social media – watch movies, have “dance” parties, or do some other fun activity that is age appropriate.
Over reliance and time spent on social media, is linked to body image concerns, social comparison, envy, and also an increased chance of exposure to cyberbullying.
Remind your daughter about privacy settings, her digital foot print, what she wants the “world” to see and what is private; and what risks there are in sharing data with corporations (who run the social media sites!). If your daughter over shares on social media, this may have a negative impact on her. Images she posts may be labelled unfairly by others, she may be more likely to be involved in “dramas” around friendships, more likely to be bullied, and she may in a few years regret the decisions she makes now about what to post. She is also more at risk of identity theft. She needs to be cautious and thoughtful about self-disclosure online.
Encourage your daughter to call out cyberbullying – recognise and identify it, label it and speak out against it, support the victim and tell an adult. A parent, teacher or counsellor can help. They can guide and support, and intervene to stop it occurring. Report offensive content to the social media platform and don’t pass it on!
Have conversations about the false information on social media sites – the lack of control of content, no editing or ethical considerations, distortion of images, facts and figures, the use of persuasion. Try to have your daughter think critically and keep the conversation going about credible sources and ‘facts'.

It is important that parents have open, judgement free discussions with their daughters – so try to find the right time, be curious and open minded, interested and do not overreact. If you need help, feel free to contact our wellbeing team here at Shelford who are happy to provide resources and materials to support your discussions or advice to navigate any issues that arise.

Katrina Brennan

Principal