Wellbeing - 

Anxiety Article 4

The next article in the series dealing with Anxiety, written by Australian Child Psychologist, Michael Hawton, Child Psychologist (MAPS) and Parentshop founder.

(For Articles 1 & 2, please refer to July & August editions of the newsletter). 

The secondary school years mark a crucial transition period where young people need to develop genuine independence skills before entering the adult world. Yet I'm witnessing an alarming trend in Australian schools: increasing numbers of teenagers receiving accommodations for mild anxiety that actually prevent them from developing the very skills they'll need beyond the school gates.    The sobering reality is that no employer will provide extra time, separate rooms, or avoidance strategies for employees experiencing normal workplace stress. By over-accommodating anxiety in secondary school, we're potentially setting up our teenagers for failure in their future careers and relationships. Haidt's The Anxious Generation research reveals that Gen Z (those born after 1995) has been hit hardest by the mental health crisis, with anxiety and depression surging around 2012 when smartphones and social media became ubiquitous. This coincided perfectly with what Haidt calls "The Great Rewiring of Childhood" - the shift from play-based to phone-based childhoods.

For secondary students, this means they've likely spent their formative years with reduced unsupervised outdoor play and increased virtual social interaction. They've had fewer opportunities to develop crucial skills like risk assessment, conflict resolution and emotional regulation through real-world experience.   In my work with secondary schools, I regularly encounter students who've been excused from presentations, given alternative assessment methods, or allowed to avoid challenging social situations due to anxiety. Whilst this might seem compassionate, recent meta-analysis research demonstrates that behavioural components - actually engaging with the feared activity - are essential for anxiety reduction.

Consider this: your Year 10 student feels anxious about giving a class presentation. The accommodation approach might suggest they record it privately at home instead. The resilience-building approach would involve scaffolding them through the actual presentation with support strategies - perhaps starting with presenting to just the teacher, then a small group, building up to the full class.    Secondary students need more sophisticated scaffolding than primary children, but the principles remain the same. When a teenager faces challenges, your role shifts from problem-solver to thinking coach.  When they're stressed about upcoming exams, avoid jumping in with study schedules and tutors. Instead, ask: "What would success look like for you in these exams, and what would you need to put in place to make that happen?" Help them break down the problem and develop their own solutions.    If they're having friendship difficulties, resist the urge to analyse the situation for them. Try: "This sounds really challenging. What do you think might be driving your friend's behaviour?" or "What are your options here, and what might be the consequences of each approach?"

Building real-world readiness

The secondary years should progressively prepare students for adult independence. This means:

Emotional regulation skills: 

When your Year 8 student is upset about social media drama, don't confiscate the phone or solve the problem. Help them process their emotions and develop strategies for managing similar situations in future.

Problem-solving capacity: 

Let them experience natural consequences for their choices. If they don't study for a test, don't rush in with excuses or tutors. Use the poor grade as a learning opportunity about cause and effect.

Communication skills: 

Encourage them to speak directly with teachers about concerns rather than you making the contact. This builds crucial advocacy skills they'll need in university and work settings.

Research shows that young people with an internal locus of control - the belief they can influence outcomes through their actions - have significantly lower anxiety levels than those with an external locus of control. Every time we solve problems for our teenagers or get them accommodations to avoid challenges, we're inadvertently shifting their locus of control to be more external, which is correlated with increased anxiety.    Instead, consistently reinforce the message: "This is challenging, but I believe you have the skills to work through it. Let's think together about your options."   The harsh reality is that post-school life doesn't provide trigger warnings, safe spaces, or alternative assessment methods. University lecturers and employers expect young adults to manage their own emotional responses whilst meeting standard requirements and deadlines.  By the time students reach Years 11 and 12, they should be practising these real-world expectations. This doesn't mean being unsympathetic to their stress - it means helping them by acknowledging their stress or discomfort whilst assisting them to develop effective stress-management strategies to meet their responsibilities.

The goal isn't to eliminate anxiety - some anxiety is normal and even helpful for motivation. The goal is to help our teenagers develop confidence in their ability to manage anxiety whilst still engaging fully with life's challenges.  Remember: every challenge a teenager navigates successfully builds their resilience reserves for adulthood. I like to say, prepare the child for the road ahead, instead of preparing the road ahead for the child. By scaffolding rather than rescuing, you're preparing them not just for end of year HSC success, but for life success.

Michael Hawton is founder of Parentshop, providing education and resources for parents and industry professionals working with children. He has authored two books on child behaviour management: Talk Less Listen More and Engaging Adolescents. You can find more information, including his books and self-paced online parenting courses at https://www.parentshop.com.au/parent-courses/