Deputy Principal News: Student Wellbeing

Don't Worry! 

Everyday we work with children who love coming to school. For the most part, the classroom and school setting brings with it consistent routines and expectations that provide predictability, which are easy to anticipate. However, as with all emotions, children can often experience worry as they work and progress through their day to day lives. 

It is important that we normalise and validate all our children's emotions (even the difficult ones)! With the support of adults, talking through these feelings and learning to manage them effectively can really be the difference between working through the worrying times and a complete meltdown. 

At St Joseph's all students participate in structured Social and Emotion Learning, where they learn about different emotions, how these present in the body/mind and the effective ways to manage these. 

While it's certainly easy to tell children "Don’t worry! You’ll do fine” when it's coming up to a speaking role at assembly, a piano recital or the first day at school, we are not setting them up with the tools required to address the worry they are experiencing. Instead, try some of the tips below, as taken from Dr Justin Coulson, parenting expert and co-host of Channel Nine’s Parental Guidance. He and his wife host Australia’s #1 podcast for parents and family: The Happy Families Podcast.

Alannah Harrison & Tom Hartney

Deputy Principals

So if saying “don’t worry” doesn’t cut it, what should we be doing instead?

1. Be proactive

Often, the biggest worry kids have is the fear of the unknown. We can greatly diminish the anxiety our kids are likely to feel by talking to them about what to expect. If they’re starting at a new kinder, that could mean introducing them to their teacher in advance, showing them where the bathrooms are, and letting them know what time you will be picking them up. If they’re going to visit a relative for the first time, it can be useful to remind them about how they are related, what the house will look like, and any rules that may be different at this new location. Whenever there is a big event on the horizon, it really pays to help our kids visualise what that event will look like.

2. Provide emotional support in the moment

If it looks like your child is getting nervous, telling them not to worry only invalidates their feelings. Instead, you can say something like, “It looks like you’re feeling a bit worried about something. Would you like to talk to me about it?” Then wait. Silence is a powerful form of communication; it tells our kids that we’re listening. Make sure not to jump in and try to solve their problems when they do start talking. Just listen and provide a sounding board as they work their way to their own solutions.

3. Help them address the persistent worry

Some kids are more prone to anxiety than others. Importantly, worry and anxiety do not always look like worry and anxiety. It can often present as frequent stomach aches, trouble sleeping, or irritability. If you’re not sure what is driving your child’s behaviour, but there have been recent changes in your child’s life or a big event coming up, worry may be part of the problem. It can be useful to talk to them in age-appropriate terms about the purpose of worry – that worry is like a messenger telling us that something might go wrong, and we can use our worry to help us make good choices and stay safe. Books like The Worrysaurus by Rachel Brightand and What If? by Lynn Jenkins can also serve as a springboard for discussion.

Worry is just like any other emotion. We can’t stop our kids from feeling it by telling them to just calm down, relax, or get over it. Like with all emotions, the best thing we can do is to be patient and support our kids as the emotion runs its course.