Chaplain's Spot
“What is your legacy?”
One of my favourite leisure activities is reading, especially biographies. It’s fascinating to read about other’s lives, and their experiences. During 2020-21, I created my own record, my memoirs, ‘Silverfish Tales’. My first ‘audience’ was my family, particularly our grandchildren. I also wrote it to share with extended family and friends.
I wonder what ‘legacy’ you would like to leave behind. A legacy is something special that someone leaves behind for others, like a memory, a lesson, or something they created.
https://michellemitchell.org/unpacking-life-what-i-have-learnt-about-leaving-a-legacy/
Michelle Mitchell is an author and speaker, sought after for her compassionate and grounded advice for parenting tweens and teens. She began as a classroom teacher but soon found a special interest in wellbeing. In 2000 she left teaching to establish a health promotion charity and psychology clinic, which delivered life skills programs and psychological services to many young people and their families each year. Today she uses her experience to write and speak in schools, community events and through media. Her core work is helping parents be the trusted, leadership presence their growing kids’ need.
“I want you to imagine you have a backpack in front of you. It has been in your family for generations, passed down from parent to child. This backpack holds all the characteristics and experiences that distinguish your family. It represents everything you inherited, both consciously and unconsciously.
Some items in your backpack will be useful and advantageous. Hard work, discipline, financial security and laughter may have been supporting your family for generations. Your backpack may also include some things you wish weren’t there: abuse, neglect, bankruptcy, broken relationships or addictions.
The backpack comes with one golden opportunity. When you have the backpack in your possession, you may alter its contents by adding or subtracting items. The addition or subtraction of items isn’t an easy job. It will take a lot of time, hard work and dedication to make changes.
Regardless of how enthusiastic any one person is, they can’t alter everything in their backpack in one lifetime. Yet, I believe that it is each generation’s responsibility to improve the contents of their bag before it is passed down to the next generation. It’s our job to make it lighter, not heavier.
When our children see us taking responsibility for our backpack, we introduce them to courage, as opposed to blame, judgement or neglect. We help them understand that parenting is about leaving a legacy, and our decisions can be made with the future in mind. I can’t think of a greater gift to give a child than the knowledge that their mum or dad, held a challenge and threw it far to sea.
It is wonderful that your teenager is under your wing while they start to process their backpack. To help, here are some suggestions. Firstly, example is everything. Secondly, each generation will see things differently and want to tackle their backpack their own way. Here are some conversations that are important to have along the way:
- Tell them that they can only conquer what is within their circle of power. They cannot change other people, or the past, but they can take ownership of their response to life as it presents itself. What they can embrace is their unique stamp on the world. Start conversations with, “You get to do things differently. I’m here to support that.”
- Tell them they will leave an impact on everyone they meet, especially family. They have a unique and important contribution to their family that will be remembered! Start conversations with, “One day your children and/or your community will celebrate your life. What kind of person will they celebrate?”
- Tell them stories about their grandparents and sacrifices they made for others. Tell them stories about the failures and disappointments too. Tell them stories that help them understand humanity. Make sure they age-appropriately know their family history. Start conversations with, “Your grandmother would want you to know this….”
- Say ‘your upbringing is a valuable starting point, but not the end of the story’. It will serve them well to take time to get to know what they are working with. Start conversations with, “What childhood memories do you want to be a part of your future? What things would you want to leave behind?”
- Tell them that because backpacks come from humans, they will never be perfect. Life isn’t always fair. We must also understand this in our dealings with other people. Start conversations with, “Every person has a load to deal with. Sometimes we don’t see how heavy other people’s load is.”
- Our knee-jerk reaction may be shame and blame, rather than take ownership of what we can. Start conversations with, ‘You don’t have to make the same mistakes I did. The things you care deeply about are yours to embrace. I am here to help you reach for those things you desire.’
Don’t wait until the end of your life to consider what you would like to leave behind to those important to you. Start now, by the way you live, by your life priorities. Our best legacy is who we are, not what we own.
Community wellbeing:
Toast Tuesday: This free breakfast program runs before school in the SPC, open to all. Woolies Eastland helps support this weekly program with our toast spreads.
Baker Delight goods: We are thankful to Bakers Delight Heathmont, for their generous provision of loaves for Toast Tuesday. If your family would appreciate regular bread or rolls, please email me below, or see me at school.
Here is the link for our TT roster for Term 3. We will start in week 2, on Tuesday 29th July.
Non-perishable items: We have had some food items donated by one of our families. Come and see us at Toast Tuesday to see if they would be helpful for your family.
Uniforms: We also have available second-hand uniforms in good condition for sale, for gold coin donations. These sales also provide necessary supplies for Toast Tuesday.
Contact: Feel free to contact me if you would like to discuss anything about the above.
Alan Silverwood: Chaplain - Pastoral care for our community. [Tuesday & Friday]
[alan.silverwood@education.vic.gov.au]
Supporting the School community in emotional, social, spiritual and practical wellbeing.
Our Chaplaincy program is funded by the Federal Government’s ‘National Student Wellbeing Program’, the GRPS School Council and donations.
